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I respect womens opinions until they say they're in a relationship.
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08-10-2015 01:19
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Girls must buy $500 purses just to impress other girls. No guy has ever said "Bro, she was ugly...but that purse...I had to smash."
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08-09-2015 17:58 by
@1_Jack_Jacko
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The only exercise I've done this month is running out of money
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08-09-2015 12:39 by
@1_Jack_Jacko
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My biggest fear is meeting my soulmate in Arkansas and finding out she's a product of Centuries of inbreeding.
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08-09-2015 09:41 by
Baddie
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I bet everything thing you eat and drink at Donald Trump's house has a hair in it.
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08-09-2015 09:17
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"I fear no man," I whisper, trembling before a group of women.
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08-09-2015 09:16
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Diet goal: I want to lose just enough so that my hand will fit comfortably in a Pringles can...
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08-08-2015 16:11 by
eengrms
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Out of all the lies I've told, "Just kidding" is my favorite.
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08-08-2015 14:43
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I dance like people wish they weren't watching.
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08-08-2015 14:30
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Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? I mean EVERY TIME! It's freakish and it can't really be safe.
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08-08-2015 06:56 by
flinnie
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If you look closely at my 13.1 sticker, you can see a tiny asterisk leading to another sticker that says " *ft."
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08-08-2015 06:50 by
huck
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Finally woke up before the birds, gonna go scream at them.
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08-08-2015 06:46 by
andrew jackson
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Bob didn't know the meaning of the word surrender. Nor could he spell it. Signing up for the Spelling Bee to meet girls had been a mistake.
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08-08-2015 06:43 by
andrew jackson
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Pretty sure you could "pull life support" from me just by turning off the a/c
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08-08-2015 06:36 by
huck
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The devil you know is better than the devil you don't. Unless the devil you know is Steve "Goat Hooves" Kapinski. That guy's the worst.
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08-08-2015 06:34 by
unknown comic
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I hate when people don't know where "to" put quotation marks.
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08-08-2015 06:31 by
unknown comic
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Being a baby seems fun. I mean aside from not being able to lift the weight of your own head. But the eating every 1-2 hours. That seems fun
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08-08-2015 06:26 by
unknown comic
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People are really judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.
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08-08-2015 06:24 by
huck
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I have no idea what swag is, but I'm fairly certain what I have is the opposite of whatever it is.
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08-08-2015 06:19 by
andrew jackson
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If you've ever seen a foal being born then you pretty much know what it looks like to watch me get out of a beach chair.
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08-08-2015 06:14 by
andrew jackson
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