Danmanz Funny Status Messages

   Don't be sad, if you think you're not important to someone....or something, Just Google yourself.

   Remember what your elders used to say, "Birds of a feather flock together. If you're an eagle, don't hang around chickens: Chickens Can't Fly!

   They should really outlaw cursive handwriting nowadays. Especially for the ones who can't spell.

   Don't you think its time for Life Alert to update their commercials.

   When is the excessive use of the word 'swagg' going to die already. Getting tired of hearing it in every rap song. Bad enough people don't even know the true meaning of it.

   Some people find themselves spending more time on their ex's FB page more then they spent time on their ex period.

   Funny how people get easily buzzed about the new iphone and droid phones. Meanwhile, China and Japan are sitting back laughing at us with their better (possible) 5G phones.

   You've been backstabbed, rejected, unwanted, abandoned, betrayed, tricked, lied to, ridiculed, cheated on, heartbroken, defeated, and said NO to all your life...Did it kill you? Of course not...just made you stronger. USE IT.

   Why.....do the best-looking cars have the dumbest drivers

   Remember the time when Power Rangers, Ninja Turtles. Super Nintendo, Sega Genisis, the ORIGINAL Nickelodeon, Saturday morning cartoons. and recess made you a real kid back then.

   Remember when TV was free?

   If I were to make a dictionary: CUTE=you; SWEET=you; THOUGHTFUL=you; GOOD LOOKING=you; GORGEOUS=you; LIAR=me!

   Don't tell God how big your problems are, tell your problems how big your God is.

   How many damn vampire movies and shows has there been since Dracula up until Twilight Saga?.....Somewhere between the number of 40 and overkill of film.

   a single father of about 4 million kids swimming around fighting to make it to their mother's egg

   and (number) other friends doesn't need to change their profile pictures.

   Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the "y" becomes silent.

   A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."

   A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

   Police and doctors are fun to watch on TV. Just look at all the shows. In reality, its not as fun when they all watch you. You either done something wrong or something wrong has been done to you.