Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1389 of 6384
When a girl likes you, everything you tweet has the potential to piss her off.
If I don't respond to your 1st text, it's not an invitation to text me again... With your basic ass
When someone I don't like texts me, I send their text back. I don't want that sh*t.
"How can I possibly be losing to this guy?"......... *every Republican presidential candidate not named Trump
←Rate |
12-08-2015 19:16 by snotty
Comments (0)
JIMMY CARTER KIM: finally someone who President Carter is more embarrassed about being associated with than his goofy looking brother Billy.
←Rate |
12-08-2015 17:06
Comments (0)
I've been asked to join the Mossad, they offer great pay and a chance to travel, but I have to get a "procedure" done first.
←Rate |
12-08-2015 16:08
Comments (0)
Life's a piano and I'm wearing boxing gloves
←Rate |
12-08-2015 14:08
Comments (0)
You can tell a lot about a person by what they're willing to do during conjugal visits.
←Rate |
12-08-2015 12:49
Comments (0)
You may not get what you want from me, but you'll never forget me.
←Rate |
12-08-2015 12:30
Comments (0)
The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself "This changes everything."
←Rate |
12-08-2015 11:11
Comments (0)
If you watch Cinderella backwards its about a woman who learns her place.
←Rate |
12-08-2015 06:41
Comments (0)
I just ordered a Life Alert bracelet so if I ever get a life I'll be notified immediately.
←Rate |
12-08-2015 05:32
Comments (0)
Winning the NFC East this year is like getting a participation trophy.
←Rate |
12-08-2015 04:59
Comments (0)
Math Quiz: 200,000 Syrian refugees x 10% estimated terrorists = how many ISIS terrorists? According to Obama's math education program, the answer is Zero
←Rate |
12-08-2015 04:45
Comments (0)
Have you asked yourself "Why is it that the "most transparent administration in history" can't tell you where it's hiding the Syrian refugees and Illegals it's sending around the country?
←Rate |
12-08-2015 04:42 by Val
Comments (0)
How many Syrian refugees will be let in before you are beheaded?
←Rate |
12-08-2015 04:38 by Val
Comments (0)
Don't look now, but your Secret Santa is watching you!
←Rate |
12-08-2015 04:37 by Val
Comments (0)
Seriously, fucktards. Zuckerburg isn't giving anyone 4.5 mill. You're just embarrassing yourself.
←Rate |
12-08-2015 00:07
Comments (0)
You don't always need a plan Bro, Sometimes you just need Balls . Harden the f*ck up
←Rate |
12-07-2015 18:21
Comments (1)
You don't alwayds have a Plan, Sometimes you just got to have balls
←Rate |
12-07-2015 18:19
Comments (0)