Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon I just heard that Prince just went to Chyna.
←Rate | 04-21-2016 13:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Rest in Peace Prince
←Rate | 04-21-2016 13:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Queen has out lived the Prince
←Rate | 04-21-2016 13:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The good news is they're putting a woman on the $20 dollar bill... The bad news is it will be worth only $14.
←Rate | 04-21-2016 09:51 by Snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon The last time I had a decent sleep was for nine months when I was in my mom's womb.
←Rate | 04-21-2016 08:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I'm sorry" and "My bad" mean the same thing unless you're at a funeral.
←Rate | 04-21-2016 07:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Beginning to think my dog will never accept my leg 'just wants to be friends.'
←Rate | 04-21-2016 07:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Boss just announced he is leaving early. What a coincidence. So am I.
←Rate | 04-21-2016 07:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you're a tailor and your shop's name isn't "Britches get stitches" then what's the point?
←Rate | 04-21-2016 05:41 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon I didn't know Harriet Tubman was a dead president?
←Rate | 04-21-2016 00:57 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Always love April 21st as it's Random Drug Testing Day at work.
←Rate | 04-20-2016 22:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Great green moon tonight for 420
←Rate | 04-20-2016 21:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I ain't saying she's a gold digger but she has emphysema and is missing four fingers. Maybe she's a coal miner.
←Rate | 04-20-2016 20:57 by Snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tubman to be on the $20, there is your reparations, now shut up.
←Rate | 04-20-2016 18:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing better than imagining "Tubman's" raining down on strippers cheeks.
←Rate | 04-20-2016 14:55 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Man, reality is relentless.
←Rate | 04-20-2016 11:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's 4/20, remember to leave out milk and cookies for Snoop Dogg!
←Rate | 04-20-2016 10:51 by HotTea Comments (1)  


   messageicon My neighbor stopped me while I was mowing to brag about his new mower, I said thats all good and well but I still have a bigger deck...
←Rate | 04-20-2016 09:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some @$$ hole licked their thumb before handing me a paper. I hope my story inspires other victims to come forward.
←Rate | 04-20-2016 09:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When is National Slap a Co-worker Day? asking for a friend
←Rate | 04-20-2016 09:38 Comments (0)  




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