Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Some girls: "I hangout with guys, there's less drama." Guys: "I hangout with myself watching sports or Netflix. There's no drama and I don't have to wear pants."

   Where was this Mitt Romney during the last general election? Had he been like this he would be running for re-election this time

   Donald Trump....make America orange again.

   The best thing about my phone screen shattering is that it now matches my dreams and aspirations for this Presdential election.

   U.S Quiz - Which Donald is a cartoon, a clown and the Republicans' top choice for President?

   Protip: Never mess with a man who leaves foam in a urinal.

   Donald Trump knows darn well who David Duke and the KKK are and he welcomes their endorsement. He just doesn't want to openly admit it.

   Donald Trump....Going to Make America White Again

   Can someone please post a picture of your breakfast for me.. to encourage me to get to make my own. . .

   I imagine that fish that are caught and released are the aquatic equivalent of people who claim to have been abducted by aliens.

   Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders should put their heads together and figure out a way to give everyone free college and make Mexico pay for it.

   ..... I used to laugh when somebody told me what the origin of the KKK was ..... until I actually looked it up. Turns out they were right .....

   A world is supported by four things ... thelearning of the wise, the justice of the great, the prayers of the righteous and the valor of the brave. But all of these are as nothing ... without a ruler who knows the art of ruling. 

   Picking a president to vote for this term is like picking the STD that I would be the most okay with having

   Let's face it America, Bernie is an angry, wrinkly old man who wears wrinkled old suits.

   If Making a Murderer is a documentary, why was the second season confirmed?

   Paging Dr. Ben Carson? Dr. Ben Carson? Please come quickly as your campaign is on life support.

   To win more votes, Rubio should be driving around in a pickup truck.

   If Trump fails to win the Presidency, perhaps he should apply to be the next Grand Wizard of the KKK.

   America, you might call this a presidential election, but the rest of the world is viewing it as your IQ test. And it's not looking good....