love Funny Status Messages

   Wife says to husband: "u make love like you decorate." Husband: "How, very slow and like a professional?" Wife:" Nope, I always have to finish the job myself."

   I hate liars, but I love a good bedtime story.

   I love reading ppls status "off to the gym" when you know damn well they are only going to use the massage chair

   I Would Never Be With Someone Just Because They Were Financially Stable. I Would Rather Live In A Trash Can With The Love Of My Life, Than To Live In A Mansion With Someone That Activates My Gag Reflexes.

   I work as a waiter and love it when people ask "How do you prepare the chicken?"I always reply "We tell it straight, you gonna die

   I was making love to Robert Pattinson for seven hours straight until security told me that Madam Tussuads was getting ready to close.

   my mum thinks LOL stands for "lots of love" and texted me "Your uncle just died. LOL."

   3.14159 I love you when you're covered in ice cream.

   You know shes a stalker . . . . or a serial killer, if you wake up at 3 'o clock in the morning and shes staring at you. . . in the dark. . . . .and says. . . "You know that I love you right?"

   127.0.0.1 I wish I was with you right now and not at work. I would love to crawl in your nice warm bed and snuggle under the covers.

   Really needs a nap, I guess I will pop "Eat, Pray, Love" back in the blu-ray, should be out in seconds!

   Misery may love company, but the miserable rarely have company.

   Just caught my kids arguing over who loved me more...it would've been sweet but they were pushing each other and saying "you love him more"..."uh uh you love him more"...

   Hallmark Card: "I've always wanted someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I've changed my mind."

   Honk if you love God, text while driving if you want to meet him...

   It was love at first sight. Then I took a second look without the beer googles.

   why cant women love me for who I am! They only see that I'm young, handsome, Good looking, rich and famous, suceessful, independent, sexy as hell, ect.

   I love going to the gym. They have free internet!

   I'm seeing alot of couple getting joint facebook accounts and call them for example "JohnandJaneDoe". Ah, nothing says love like I don't trust you to have your own facbeook page. So, lets get one together so we can keep tabs on each other Dear.

   It was love at first sight. Then I took a second look!