santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Everything I know about dancing I learned from the Charlie Brown Christmas party

   The holidays are always tough on me.... One year for Christmas , I made a gingerbread house that wasn't up to code & it collapsed on a tiny, little gingerbread family. Still haunts me.

   [a cat sitting in the sleigh impassively knocking presents out into the Pacific Ocean] Rudolph: Santa Claws, NO

   And suddenly the neighbors who left their Christmas lights up all year seem like geniuses.

   A Citizen's Arrest for the next person who asks me if I'm ready for Christmas.

   One Christmas eve, Santa was under a lot of stress. When an angel walk in with a tree and ask what he should do with the tree was how the tradition got started.

   Santa is jolly because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

   The neighbors are already putting up their Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving who have obviously been shopping in Walmart.

   The last time I bought a Christmas tree the sales person said “are you going to put that up yourself?” I thought, that is strange. No, I’m just gonna put it up in the living room

   Can we celebrate Thanksgiving this year and be thankful for all we have before we start thinking about all the cheap Chinese made plastic junk we don't need for Christmas?

   Like people who leave their Christmas decorations up all year I left my Halloween decorations up and saved a lot of work thanks to the spiders!

   Lady stabbed a guy singing Christmas Songs at the Mall. I bailed her out.

   There is nothing stopping a condom company from saying they are the only condoms worn by Santa Claus

   The night before the kids go back to school is the grown ups version of Christmas Eve.

   This is ridiculous its July 8th... Neighbors are still shooting off fireworks, one almost caught my Christmas decorations on fire..

   Now it's too hot out to take the Christmas lights down.

   For Sale. Slightly used Christmas tree. Price negotiable. Can pick up in front of neighbor's house.

   For sale: Slightly used Christmas tree. Can pick up in front of neighbors house.

   Loving and all these Christmas photos you're posting of your families who look as joyous and festive as the family who came with a picture frame I bought a while ago, who I also don't know.

   To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I'm making my house into an Italian restaurant.