huck Funny Status Messages

   or the millionth time, yes Pandora, I'm still listening. What are you my wife?

   BREAKING: Study shows several boys not brought to the yard, despite allure of milkshake.

   Huck this is an intervention "ok to who's wedding" no thats an invitation "aliens?!" thats an invasion "how--" HUCK YOU NEED TO GET A DICTIONARY

   FACT: The higher pitched my "hey!" the greater the chance I don't remember who you are.

   Had to sneeze but it never came out and now I'm afraid it's traveling around my body trying to find another exit.

   I am so overwhelmed by the birthday love, and SO underwhelmed by the birthday gifts!!!!

   Picture a fox. Wrong. They are smaller than that.

   After opening this month's electric bill, I am no longer scared of the dark.

   I'm making money in my spare time by working.

   When people tell me "You're gonna regret that in the morning" I sleep in til noon, because I'm a problem Solver

   "I have your test results," said the doctor. "There's no easy way to tell you this; you are cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs."

   My sister is going to a theme park tomorrow. I told her to have fun. Frightening to think what could've happened had I not shared that tip

   I get my: Cereal from a tiger, Insurance from a gecko, Toilet paper from a bear, Financial advice from a gorilla. It's people I don't trust.

   Covers on, too hot. Covers off, too cold. One foot out would prolly be ok, but I don't wanna be dragged from bed paranormal activity style.

   Cops don't like it when they tell you to put your hands up in the air then you wave them like you just don't care.

   Its awkward touching hands with another man in a popcorn bag, especially if you don't know the man & he doesn't know you're eating his popcorn

   If I ever post a joke that you don't like take comfort in the fact that I was clearly for one moment hacked

   I'm sure someday I will go to a Chinese restaurant and be mature and able to resist doing Chopstick Walrus, but today is not that day.

   People who wish they had a nickel for every time such-and-such happened should raise their prices a little.

   I have an electric stove, but I prefer acoustic.