bego Funny Status Messages

   Feeling Ugly...go hang out in Wal-Mart for a few hours.

   Nutella...the only reason I buy bread.

   Some guy screwed you over? Would you like to explain how the whole male population is responsible for this?

   Your parents payed your iPhone, MacBook and bought you car? And they're paying for your school? Please, tell me how hard your life is.

   Telling a girl to "calm down" is like trying to baptize a cat.

   Ladies If it takes you more than a hour to get ready, then you aren't as cute as you think you are

   If you wear Hollister past seventh grade I'm just gonna assume you enjoy the taste of another man's schlong.

   To "scratch" your balls is a false saying. It's more of a "pinch and roll"

   f your ex texts you, its probably because they tried to replace you, but failed.

   Hey Guys, never chase women. Chase your dreams and women will follow.

   The best way to a woman's heart is by saying three words ''- You lost weight...!!!!

   Love is like a Hot Pocket: If you rush into it, you’re bound to get burned.

   So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the “Jags” and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the “Bucs,” what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

   Girls dont dress for boys, they dress for themselves. If girls dressed for boys, they’d just walk around naked all the time.

   Never trust someone that smiles on Monday morning.

   I'd rather watch highlights from a WNBA game than listen to ESPN talk about Johnny Manziel and A-Rod again.

   Never sure if a girl is hot or just that her massive sunglasses are blocking her face.

   Whenever I hand someone my camera to take a picture, they act like I’m asking them to pilot an alien spaceship. JUST PUSH THE DAMN BUTTON!

   Hey homeless guy, quick tip: don’t panhandle outside the 99 Cent Store, we’re not that far from you.

   Ever want to click on someone’s Facebook status and fix all the spelling and grammatical errors for them?