MWC Funny Status Messages

   they're 3 kinds of people in this world. Those that are good with math, an those who aren't.

   What does a Colt want to be when it grows up? A Bronco! Go Payton Manning

   "GOOD MORNING COFFEE"....Meet your maker!!!!

   My friends all got really into that show 'The Deadliest Catch.' But I never watched it 'cause I always just assumed it was about AIDS...Its not!..It's about crabs.

   I can understand your anger at me, but what could you possibly have against the horse I rode in on?

   After reading some of these jokes, I might have pulled something rolling my eyes.

   I may look like I'm doing nothing, but in my head I'm quite busy.

   I don't use my cell phone in the car... I have to keep my hands free for making gestures.

   Today I am WONDER WOMAN ... I will wrap my head and wrists in foil, stuff my Bra, hike up my grannie panties, and I will wonder.

   I'm so broke, my bologna don't have a first name!

   Justin Bieber is the Brand Ambassador of sanitary pads.

   being home all day with my kids don't affect me at all. Now let me go tinkle on the potty before we go bye-bye to din-din I'm so hun-gee!

   "Whats the fastest way to make a woman pick cotton?" "Set the string on fire!"

   I know a lot of midget jokes, I'm afraid they will come back to bite me in the ass.

   You call me a Red Neck Back Woods Hillbilly, just because I go to the family reunion to find a date!...So be it!

   I like to walk around the house naked. Until the cops chase me back inside.

   "My Uncle Jennifer is going to be on Jerry Springer tomorrow!"

   "I wish Ted would just tell his poor kids how he met they're mother!!!"

   I use to wake up Grumpy...now I just let her sleep!

   Women don't like being told what to do unless they're naked.