Lemonpillow Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon My inability to use emoticons correctly is really getting me down :)
←Rate | 06-26-2010 14:13 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Breed a Labrador Retriever with a Curly Coated Retriever and you get a Lab Coat Retriever. The choice of medical professionals everywhere.
←Rate | 06-26-2010 14:05 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon This status was sent from inside the Channel Tunnel. Try that on your precious iPhones.
←Rate | 06-26-2010 12:42 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went to have Botox, the surgeon said to me "That's $8000 dollars please" I couldn't even looked shocked.
←Rate | 06-21-2010 15:52 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon You're like a cloud: once you f*ck off,it's a nice day.
←Rate | 06-19-2010 16:29 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can Atheists get insurance for Acts of God?
←Rate | 06-14-2010 19:43 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Promises are like babies: easy to make but hard to deliver.
←Rate | 06-14-2010 12:34 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..i blame my typos on my years as a postwoman. Even today I cant help but miss a letter ot two..
←Rate | 06-14-2010 11:49 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
←Rate | 06-13-2010 06:26 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Duran Duran have reworked one of their classic singles for the World Cup. It goes, 'His name is Rio and he watches from the stands...'
←Rate | 06-12-2010 13:14 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon ""Daddy, whats a transvestite?” “Go ask your mother…he'll tell you.”
←Rate | 06-12-2010 12:37 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up.
←Rate | 06-12-2010 12:08 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Studies show that four out of five poker players take drugs to keep awake and sharp at the table. The one that doesn't stay sharp is the one who shouts out "Go Fish!"
←Rate | 06-12-2010 09:06 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon An optimist is a person who sees a green light everywhere. The pessimist sees only the red light. But the truly wise person is color blind.
←Rate | 06-11-2010 14:13 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shrek beat Sex and The City at the box office this past weekend. It was quite a showdown between two very unique movies. One is about a hideous creature and all of it's friends, and the other one is Shrek.
←Rate | 06-11-2010 13:55 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Personality can open doors, but only character can keep them open.
←Rate | 06-10-2010 11:14 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon You're never more indignant in life than when you're shopping in a store that you feel is beneath you and one of the other customers mistakes you for an employee of that store.
←Rate | 06-09-2010 15:29 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken.
←Rate | 06-09-2010 13:28 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..this warm weather brings out the worst in people. Like B.O.,unkept feet and whale thongs . Shudder.
←Rate | 06-09-2010 13:20 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon A key ring is a handy little gadget that allows you to lose all your keys at once.
←Rate | 06-08-2010 15:02 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  




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