BEGO Funny Status Messages

   I solve many of my problems by simply ignoring them

   After 10 Dos Equis beers, I think I'm the most interesting man in the world

   This morning I put Red Bull into my coffee maker instead of water and now I can see noises.

   Username or Password Incorrect” You couldn't just tell me which one?

   If you only have one photo on you're Facebook you are either a spammer, or a loser, either way don't request me as a friend.

   You remind me of my Chinese friend.. Ug Lee

   I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper

   If it's free, it's advice; If you pay for it, it's counseling; If you can use either one, it's a miracle !

   A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one.

   I found out it was really hot outside by actually venturing out there. WTF Facebook? You are suppossed to tell me these things first.

   A friend knows there's something wrong by the way you act but a best friend can tell through just a text message

   Men are like lottery tickets. Very exciting at first, until you scratch away the surface to reveal the loser beneath.

   I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance – waiting for the bathroom.

   When a man signals a woman to walk in front & says, “Ladies first” it really means “Go ahead. I'll stand back & watch how your ass walks.”

   I wonder whether I can trust doctors with dead plants in the waiting room.

   Nothing in the world is more expensive than a women who's free for the weekend

   True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen.

   Don't waste your time on someone who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

   Facebook should change ” It's complicated ” to ” It's confusing & stressful. “

   “I'm Single ” doesn't mean ” I'm looking for somebody “, just thought you should know.