Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1288 of 6383
Gray hair is the human body's equivalent of low toner.
←Rate |
03-24-2016 07:25
Comments (0)
I'm getting kind of tired always slowly raising my hand when someone asks, "Who does something like that?"
←Rate |
03-24-2016 07:25
Comments (0)
Dr. Dre is a rapper, I always wondered what medical school he went to....
←Rate |
03-24-2016 06:01
Comments (0)
Donald Trump says he "will spill the beans " on Cruz's wife, I always wondered what beans Heidi eats??
←Rate |
03-24-2016 03:54
Comments (0)
To All My Ex's Out There, you can block my Facebook, you can delete my number but you can never unsuck my genitals. Have a good day!!!
←Rate |
03-24-2016 02:18
Comments (0)
This April Fools I'm gonna talk a bunch of gibberish and act like I forgot about Dre.
←Rate |
03-24-2016 02:12
Comments (0)
When things get me down, I always take a deep breath and go to my safe place....Taco Bell.
←Rate |
03-24-2016 01:56
Comments (0)
"Could you guys just have your election now?" - The entire world to America
←Rate |
03-24-2016 01:54
Comments (1)
Pro Tip: Keep your friends close and your enemies in a ditch, because they deserve it.
←Rate |
03-24-2016 01:53
Comments (0)
My goal for Easter weekend is to move just enough each day to make sure no one thinks I'm dead.
←Rate |
03-24-2016 01:48
Comments (0)
Cuddling, it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye or gets an erection....
←Rate |
03-24-2016 01:46
Comments (0)
Almost every hand you shake has touched a man's genitals. Think about that for a second.
←Rate |
03-24-2016 01:40
Comments (0)
My safe word is "Will you marry me?"
My neighbor OD'd on Viagra. His wife took it really hard
←Rate |
03-24-2016 00:40 by curly
Comments (0)
Nothing's says I'm guilty of every crime imaginable quite like using your blinker to pull into your driveway...
←Rate |
03-23-2016 20:51 by Aaron
Comments (0)
I promise I didn't have sexual relations with Monika
←Rate |
03-23-2016 20:12
Comments (0)
how are those refugees in Europe working out for you
←Rate |
03-23-2016 16:46
Comments (0)
Clinton says "How high do you have to build a wall to keep out the internet?" I don't think she understands how the internet works, which is why she got in trouble with her emails.
←Rate |
03-23-2016 14:49
Comments (0)
I suffer from a rare condition known as Aibohphobia, which is an unreasonable fear of palindromes.
←Rate |
03-23-2016 09:47 by Wasabi
Comments (0)
I'd call you a p*ssy, but you don't have the depth or the warmth to live up to it.
←Rate |
03-23-2016 09:13
Comments (0)