Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1281 of 6383
If April showers bring Mayflowers, what do Mayflowers bring? Genocide.
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04-03-2016 15:29
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I am who I am. I'm weird, I'm lame, I run into things, I spill food, I trip, I scream about random and stupid stuff like fellow Trump supporters do. But, I like it that way.
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04-03-2016 15:26
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You really understand how drunk you are when you're peeing...
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04-03-2016 15:14
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The Americans are the only ones in the world that think their elections are actually real . Everybody else just sees different fingers off the same corporate puppet . .
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04-03-2016 14:25
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All the keyboard warriors these days... SMH. They all probably get scared $h!tless when the toast pops up..
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04-03-2016 10:02
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Sorry Syracuse, but if I wanted to see an Orangeman lose by that much, I would just check the general election polls!
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04-02-2016 23:38
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geta Life opinions can be hilarious. Like thinking yours is going to stop us.
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04-02-2016 15:23
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They should really considered remaking "Back To The Future 2" where there aren't any flying cars. And people just stare at their phones all day getting easily offended to everything they read....
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04-02-2016 15:21
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Do you ever start rubbing your eyes and then it feels so really good and you can't stop so it's like eye masterbation....
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04-02-2016 15:18
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"No hardworking American should be forced to live without more cowbell." Christopher Walken for President, 2016.
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04-02-2016 15:08
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Your sexy legs looks like an Oreo cookie. I want to split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle....
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04-02-2016 15:05
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If Steve Buscemi can have a movie career surely there is hope for us all.
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04-02-2016 15:03
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A nice kid in the park informed me smoking was bad for you. So I popped his balloon with my cigarette and told him so was talking to strangers.
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04-02-2016 15:02
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if you never ever looked at your bank balance and rationally thought about the benefits of prostitution and drug dealing, you're a liar my friend.
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04-02-2016 14:59
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First Rule of Camping: Start building the tent before you start drinking....
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04-02-2016 14:53
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It's like these bottles of liquor don't even remember me from last night.
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04-02-2016 13:39
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anyone understand what women even do with toilet paper? because if they used it to dress up as egyptian mummies i'd probably understand.
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04-02-2016 13:12
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I want to see Trump win just so I can hear him say "Barack Obama, you're fired!"
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04-02-2016 11:18
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I wonder how many Clinton supporters are going to start wearing the same type of orange jump suite as their beloved leader.
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04-02-2016 08:54
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How great will it be when Trump steps up to the podium after accepting the Republican nomination and says "Live from New York, it's Saturday night"....