bego Funny Status Messages

   I hate when I buy a bag of air and there's chips in it.

   Drunk people run stop signs. High people wait for them to turn green.

   How come if alcohol kills millions of brain cells, it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?

   When God was throwing intelligence down to the Earth, you were holding an umbrella.

   *sends text message* *gets a reply 45min later* "Oh so it's like that? Ok, then I'm gonna take twice as long to text back!"

   Lying in bed, wondering if it's worth it to get up and pee.

   God puts people in my life for a reason... & removes them from my life for a better reason.

   Facebook should change the "Friends" section to "Friends & People I've Only Made Eye Contact With".

   Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke

   I love you like a fat kid loves cake, but lately that fat kid has been on a diet.

   Old is when your sweetie says, “Lets go upstairs and make love,” and you answer, “Honey, I can't do both!”

   Roses are red. Violets are blue. Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad, I'll be there too. Not in the cage but laughing at you.

   There's always that one person who makes you wanna raise your middle finger every time they speak to you

   A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.

   I have to constantly remind myself of the fact that life is too short to waste it on getting mad at idiots

   ❒Taken ❒Single ✔ Dont care anymore

   I thinks my neighbor just caught me stealing his Wi-Fi internet.

   I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the wierdest hairdos.

   I don't hate you, I never could. I don't regret meeting you, I never will. But I do regret our relationship. It destroyed our friendship!

   I just took the garbage out. In 3D