bego Funny Status Messages

   I wonder what the person I`m going to marry is doing right now

   A rumor goes in one ear and then out of many mouths.

   Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?

   We may love the wrong person, cry for the wrong reason. But one thing is sure, mistakes help us to find the right person!

   Just Unfriended a Facebook Friend on their Birthday… that takes TRUE GRIT!

   How the hell did Charles Manson get like 16 people to murd.r for him? I can't even get two kids to brush their teeth.

   A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

   In the beginning of a relationship the men go into it thinking this might be fun...and the women go into it thinking this might be the one.

   Sometimes you want someone so bad, youll tell yourself lies &hope they come true.

   I just watch a damn naked Chinese man run into a wall at full speed with a hard on. He broke his nose.

   people will damn believe anything if you whisper it.

   If a transvesite goes missing, would you put their face on a carton of Half and Half Milk?

   To all my Facebook Friends.....If you are over 20 years old and know the name to a Justin Bieber OR DAMN a Lady Gaga song, PLEASE Delete me as a friend....I don't think I wanna be friends with you!!!

   Hand Sanitizer... the best way to find invisible cuts for over 10 years now!

   By the super powers vested in me... I can now pronounce you deleted on fb and blocked if I want to.

   ''Are you free tomorrow?'' No, i'm expensive.

   Today, an insect settled on my monitor. Being lazy, I tried waving my mouse at it, but it wouldn't move. So I loaded a picture of Justin Bieber. Worked like a charm.

   *teacher textes student* "dear student, I know you're texting. no one would be looking a their crotch and smiling"

   The condom says to the tampon, "You put me out of my job for a week every month!"The tampon replies, "yeah? And when you don't do your damn job properly, I lose mine for 9 months!!"

   *Home phone rings* Me-Hello Tom-Hey dude where r you (dude r you stupid,,,u called my home number nd you asking me where I am.....wtf)