Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1263 of 6383
If Prince can kick Kim Kardashian off the stage I should be able to kick her and all Kardashian nonsense off my Facebook feed.
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04-22-2016 21:34
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"Huh?" -Vincent Van Gogh................. "What?" -Ludwig von Beethoven
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04-22-2016 19:41 by Snotty
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Each of my teardrop tattoos represent french fries I dropped between my car's seats.
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04-22-2016 19:33 by Snotty
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It was the best of times, it was the worst of times... So, After doing the math, the times were pretty much average.
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04-22-2016 19:32 by Snotty
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I got a membership to Sam's Club and my name isn't even Sam... *lol,, These guys are idiots.
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04-22-2016 19:14 by Snotty
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ZOOKEEPER: As you all know, one of the penguins has somehow gone missing & we need to find it.. ME: *nervously* it's finders keepers tho,,, right?
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04-22-2016 19:11 by Snotty
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Happy Earth Day everyone. Suck it, Mars!
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04-22-2016 18:37
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Now that there will be a woman on the $20 bill does that mean it will be worth less than the ones with men on them?
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04-22-2016 18:18
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..... In celebration of Earth Day, I took my dog outside and let her fertilize the ground ...
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04-22-2016 18:09
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They should put Harriet Tubman on the EBT card instead
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04-22-2016 15:52 by MWC
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Happy Pretending We Know What We Can & Can't Recycle Day!
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04-22-2016 13:16
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It’s the 40th Earth Day, which is bad news for Earth. Once you get in your forties, your equator expands, your poles start to melt — soon you’ll look as bad as Uranus.
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04-22-2016 10:49
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In celebration of Earth Day, I went outside and stared at the ground for a little while.
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04-22-2016 09:43 by Fazzella
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I learned something from Prince. To aim as high as one possibly can when writing songs. That's why I never made it big. I never aimed high enough. I wrote a song called Little Red Chevette.
Not a good day for one name celebrities. Someone keep an eye on Bono, Madonna & Cher.
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04-21-2016 22:52
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FYI: if you order a mcflurry 8 days in a row,, that's called a "McTurbo"... and they have to let you see the shed where they keep grimace
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04-21-2016 22:30 by Snotty
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This just in... Kanye West is still alive. Meanwhile we continue to lose really talented artists...
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04-21-2016 21:34 by eengrms
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*accidentally taxidermies the wrong end of a lion... * "What a catasstrophy!"
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04-21-2016 20:10 by Snotty
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They preemted 'The Price Is Right' with news about Prince dying. Great. Now I'll never know who won the Showcase Showdown...
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04-21-2016 19:33
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Evel Kneivel: Jumps over 45 old school busses... Good Kneivel: Fixes the busses and makes sure every kid gets a good education
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04-21-2016 19:28 by Snotty
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