bego Funny Status Messages

   People say best friends are hard to find. That's because the best one's already mine.

   Marriage: finding that special someone you want to annoy the rest of your life

   Have you noticed in movies they ask someone wearing a mask "who are you?"

   When you poke someone on facebook, where exactly are you supposed to be poking them ?

   It's the little things in life that count. Like my salary.

   Men are like coolers. Load them up with beer and you can take them anywhere.

   My 20 year high school reunion is in a few months. I need help with making up some amazing crap that I've done.

   How come whenever I tell someone I play guitar, they challenge me to Guitar Hero? I have never challenged a veteran to Call of Duty.

   I also think Facebook should change “Friends” to “People with whom I have made eye contact”.

   If someone throws a stone at you, throw a flower at them. But remember to throw the flower pot with it.

   Every girl has 3 guys in her life: one she loves, one she hates, and the one she can't live without. But in the end, it's the same guy!

   If you google “MySpace” your computer will ask “Are you serious right now?”

   Nothing like an old high school crush finding you & friending you on Facebook because he needs cows or some crap for Farmville.

   Dude is texting with a flip phone, just like George Washington did.

   Hard work never killed anybody, but it does keep you off Facebook

   When life gives you a Grenade, pull the pin and toss it to your EX..

   When it comes to kicking someones ass I'm brave but when it comes to telling you how I feel I'm as weak as a toothpic

   I Liked your Status and now 25 notifications later........I'm hating me for Liking your status!

   Non-Smoker - I hate cigarettes...!Smoker - Me too , thats why I am burning it. ! !

   I watch so many crime shows on Tv, that when I turn off the Tv set, I wipe my fingerprints 0ff the remote.