Funny Status Messages

   Pres. Barack Obama arrives in Dallas where he is expected to deliver a highly personal and emotional speech at a memorial service for the 5 slain police officers. Obama will also find out who shot J.R. Ewing too.

   Being in Costco without family or friends is like being lost in a strange universe. Who am I going to share the poutine with?

   This morning I thanked the Starbucks barista and told him to have a magical day and the lady next to me waiting for coffee stared and said, "I could really use some magic today, could you wish me a magical day too?" Lady, sorry I am not a magician here...

   The economy sux so bad that, I am reciving per-declined credit offers in the mail...

   If you can't love the one you want, love someone who looks like them and just squint a lot

   You know those orange cones they put on the highway for you to knock down? I just beat my high score !

   Loving this new Hula-Hoop app

   Three kinds of Betty Crocker cake mix are being voluntarily recalled by General Mills over concerns they could be contaminated with E.coli. Now that's an exciting new cake flavor if you ask me.

   Bernie, The "Anti-Establishment" candidate ..... Just joined the Establishment.

   Pokemon Go - Get your information stolen and get hit by a car.

   Just when you thought kids were actually beginning to enter into the world of reality ................ Pokemon GO

   " If we build it, They Won't Come." ............. Border Wall

   ..... Wonder what would happen if a Pokemon Go character accidentally appeared in the middle of a busy freeway?

   Misconduct, Malfeasance and Dereliction of Duty: These are the Qualifications of Hillary Clinton for President. Is this really what you want in the Office of the President?

   Thanks, Amazon Prime. Just what I needed. Another consumer driven 'holiday.'

   Sorry kids .... Bernie and Hillary are not really Pokemon Go characters

   The Socialist just endorsed the Corrupt Socialist for President.

   There are now a lot of confused and frustrated kids out there that are frantically trying to take selfies with their newly found Pokemon Go characters.

   As a Millenial I find my life is now full of much more meaning now that I have Pokemon Go!

   Be careful walking near tall building today. You may see millenials out on ledges for 1 of 2 reasons... they are playing Pokemon Go or they are depressed that their hero Bernie Sanders just fell in line with his comrades.