Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Im in the restroom using the urinals and someone walked next to me to catch a Pokemon!

   Protests to stop police from killing their race but then you kill each other for a pair of Jordans....smh

   Wow, that's a nice looking pair of crocs!" - Said by no one...

   "But apart from that , How did you enjoy the play Mrs. Lincoln"

   I woke up this morning and there was a big Pokemon next to me and I don't even have the app!

   He had no known links to t errorist organisations? Just being a m ulslim is a known link to t errorism.

   I don't care what any politician says ..... This country and this world are definitely not better places than it was 8 years ago! If they say otherwise they are liars and should not be trusted.

   I ordered 2 pizzas from Dominoes. The order taker was not amused when I asked her for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Total.

   Divorce: The end of an error.....

   1/3 of the world is going crazy killing each other tonight, 1/3 of the nerds are looking for pokemon, 1/3 of women are rubbing their poor children in essential oils and I'm just laying on the couch wondering how I ran out of Oreos.

   If we had a terror attack like Nice, our president would be on the news telling us we need common sense laws to keep cars out of the hands of terrorists.

   Stop it with this political BS. I haven't stolen and posted a descent item in months

   If it were garbage pail kids I would totally be on board.

   this a political message board or a status site ?

   Their country is at war with itself and they chasing cartoon characters. What the heck!??

   Assuming one is against the police when they're against police brutality is like assuming one is anti-parent when they're against child abuse.

   Bernie said from the start of his campaign he would endorse Hillary if she won the primary, his supporters flip out and disown him when he shows integrity and keeps his promise.

   It's national nude day, grand marnier day, hot dog day and tape measure day. Time to get drunk and measure them wieners.

   Him: Ok, who ate the rest of my cake??? Me: Instead of accusing me of eating your leftover cake, ask yourself why you had any left to begin with, Quitter!

   I bet if Bon Jovi could turn back time he wouldn't do those gawd awful DirecTV commercials.