love Funny Status Messages

   Me and my bed are in a committed relationship, I think my alarm clock is just jealous of our love.

   Nails didn't keep Christ to the cross, His love for you did. Have a Happy Easter.

   We may love the wrong person, cry for the wrong reason. But one thing is sure, mistakes help us to find the right person!

   there are three little words I love to hear, that remind me how amazing the world is, and always makes me smile: WELCOME TO WALMART!!!

   I love in horror movies how the person yells out "hello?!" as if the killer is gonna say "yeah I'm in the kitchen, want a sandwich?"

   can't seem to find love. but its okay. I know exactly where the beer is.

   Before you fall in Love with a girl with spakling eyes. Make sure It's not the sun shining through the back of her head

   Love is like a brick. You can build a house, or you can sink a dead body.

   Dear Air Traffic Contollers, It's not enought that the FAA has security patting down 6 year olds, but for the love of God, take a six pack of Red Bull in a cooler with you when you go to work at night. Sincerely, the public.

   What if love was like volleyball... all you have to do is call 'MINE!' and everyone else backs off...

   I Fell In Love With You,You Fell In Love With Someone Else,I Pray To God Whoever you Fell In Love With Falls In Love With Somebody Else...........

   I love you like a fat kid loves cake, but lately that fat kid has been on a diet.

   Old is when your sweetie says, “Lets go upstairs and make love,” and you answer, “Honey, I can't do both!”

   Love how yall ladies enjoy that show "Snapped" stories about women who go crazy on their men..So I decided I'm gonna create a show for men its gonna be called "She Just Wouldn't Shut-the-f*ck-Up

   you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now

   loving him some father son and holy spirit right. I love ya Jesus

   The test of Love is not how long it survives, but how it renews itself with each passing day.

   I have had enough, I am not here for your pleasure any longer, you encourage me to turn you on, just so you can heat me up for a few minutes. So it is over..you are being shut down,,unplugged, concider your fuse blown... God I love turning off the furnace

   So I just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God I love my boobs.

   Love is patience. Love is kind. Love is making me lose my mind.