Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I'm still on the fence about who to vote for in November ... One candidate is a Successful Business man Married to an Immigrant and the other is a Failed Lawyer Former Secretary of State married to a Philandering Disbarred Lawyer Impeached Ex President.

   Melania Trump may have copied Michelle's speech but at least she ain't no man trying to act like a woman.

   We need to have a WORKemon GO Game ... Where people get out and walk around looking for a JOB.

   eports now surfacing that there was a brief conflict between Charles and Donald about who is in charge.

   even the digital Pokemon in my office can tell that the speech was plagiarized.

   "Float like a butterfly sting like a bee" -Melania Trump

   There was this woman who always juxtaposed the letters in LMAO whenever I told a joke. She'd put LAMO. I tired to correct her. She said, "No, your jokes are lame."

   Memo to self: Next time you fill out a job application and it asks about military service, it is best not to mention that you've Gone Commando in your life.

   250,000 Union Soldiers died to end slavery in the United States ..... They were the first and genuine Black Lives Matter movement.

   Heck, Who wants to look at Melania Trump as First Lady of the United States when we could have the Screechers wife Bill Clinton as the First Lady.

   I saw a piece of chewing gum in the urinal today and thought, boy that must have been really painful.

   FYI ... In 08 President Obama's "Just Words" speech was slammed for using the exact phrase from Mass. Gov Deval Patrick. Vice President Biden responded to the allegations by saying "Everybody does it!"

   Claiming a product promotes "Weight Loss" when combined with diet and exercise is like claiming that it grants wishes when used with a leprechaun.

   I live in a Madhouse run by a tiny army that I made myself.

   "I am a proud independent black woman." - Melania Trump

   I jist wants ma monies froms da guberments and not gets shot at whiles I be doin bidness

   I just met Melania two speech writers... Mr. Copy and Mrs.Paste.

   In Melania's defence, in her country it is considered a compliment to plagiarize a speech from the previous First Lady.

   Pikachu? Come to my backyard and get a Glockatchu!

   Hey africans, we know yous dont have legal vehicles or jobs to go to but please refrain from dancing in the road and blocking traffic