BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Kanye should’ve interrupted Miley’s performance to say that Beyonce’s as$ would look better in those shorts.

   Education should be free for all people willing to learn!

   To skip any youtbue ad just change ‘youtbue’ to ‘youtubeskip’ in the url of any video. You’re welcome.

   There’s “hell” in hello, “good” in goodbye, “lie” in believe, “over” in lover, “end” in friend, “ex” in “next”, & “if” in life.

   Missing someone has been proven to cause insomnia. Being frustrated because you’re without that special someone keeps you awake.

   Me: I cleaned all the dishes Mom: aren’t you going to put them away too? Me: you have to upgrade from the trial version to the full version

   Basically the whole point of Facebook is so you can see if you’re prettier than your ex’s new girlfriend.

   Does anyone else have a plastic bag full of plastic bags in their house, or is it just me?

   2014 is in 4 months.. Let that sink in

   Why do people in movies keep all their lights off when they hear a noise? I’d be lighting that place up like friggin’ Times Square.

   People who squirt Ketchup all over their fries instead of dipping them are not people you want in your life.

   LIL KIM IS STILL ALIVE?

   Taking awful cold medicine as a kid taught me how to take shots in college.

   Thinking that girl was special, then you realized that she's like that with everyone.

   They say milk gives you strenght so I drank 5 glasses and still couldnt move a wall, I tried 13 shots of vodka and saw the wall move by itself.

   A Mosquito landed on my friends face.. Easiest decision of my life..

   7 billion people, 14 billion faces.

   No matter how long you have been together, it's completely okay to walk out of someone's life if you just don't feel like you belong there anymore.

   i swear; when people are in love they are never themselves, they are something else....

   When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I’m beginning to believe it