Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   My wife told me that women are better at multitasking than men. So I asked her to sit down and be quiet. She couldn't do either.

   I am content to see the end of what was the empire called the US of A. Every empire comes to an end, typically at the hands of the insane from within. The US of A had its time. It's now time to end it.

   I wonder what my toothpaste meant by 'extra sensitive.' Turns out it doesn't like when I use other toothpastes.

   That moment when you realize that 1935 - 1980 is as far as 1980 -2025

   You can walk around Walmart and eat grapes and nobody bothers you, but as soon as you eat a rotisserie chicken, here comes security.

   Like I said before: Newsflash, I'm not going anywhere. In fact, the more ignorant you get, the stronger I get. So it doesn't do you any good to keep trying to attack me.

   I'll take the raving le*ticle poster any day over that GaryKoenig imbecile who posts played out jokes from eons ago. Unoriginal asshole.

   Whoever named it Parmesan cheese and not spaghetti confetti missed a great opportunity.

   con по сути теперь мы владеем тобой

   If you answer the phone with "Hello, you're on the air!" most telemarketers will quickly hang up.

   по сути теперь мы владеем тобой

   What's happened to the raving le*ticle poster today? I'm beginning to worry that something's happened to him.

   Give a 👎 if you're ok with Tr*mp and El*n r*ping more women.

   My mom's dead. lol

   There's a lot of anti Trump babies in here!

   Since 2020 to December 2024, the national debt per person has gone from $80,885 to $106,119. Thats a $25,234 increase. As a family of 4, you just picked up over $100,000 in debt. So since you can’t pay it all, you gonna live it to your kids as inheritan

   We are becoming a “pay forward slavery” society we are enslaving future generations to pay for our mistakes today.

   Today we bow down and lower our eyes in a show of respect for our King of Lef*ist Shallow Blather.

   Christmas > Easter. Christmas = Lasagna. Easter = Hard Boiled Eggs. I hope this helps to clear things up.

   When I was 7 I found a gun underneath my mom's pillow and All I could think was Damn I can't wait to lose all my teeth !