BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Where would I be without my mother? Probably in the middle of traffic, without my jacket on, talking to some stranger.

   I'm giving up on the silent treatment. Going to start talking to myself again.

   For Sale: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. Never read because wife already knows everything.

   Hitting the LIKE button on your own Facebook status is like sending a text message to yourself then replying.

   Big sunglasses are an ugly girl's best friend.

   You should like yourself because that is the only person you have to spend the rest of your life with.

   Creaking floorboards have been known to ruin the plans of thousands of teenagers.

   Dear 6, Please stop spreading rumors about me eating 9. You shouldn't be talking. I hear you guys do some pretty nasty things. Sincerely, 7.

   Talk used to be cheap...then someone invented cell phones.

   Maybe your ex didn't take you for granted, but they sure took you for everything else.

   Once upon a time, GIRLS used to cook like their mothers,but now they drink like their damn Fathers...!!!

   We often fear being rejected so very much that we reject ourselves first before anyone else has the chance.

   Saw this person's photo on Facebook & I thought to myself ” DAMN I'D HIT THAT “……with a truck. “

   Before Facebook, I had told maybe six people “Happy Birthday,” ever.

   A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.

   Admit it, sometimes, even when your crush does something really weird…. it still looks cute for you.

   No one ever seems to realize that when your EX says after you brake up, "The last thing I want to do is hurt you again," basically implies that there is a list and hurting you is on it.

   If a genie ever gives me three wishes, goodbye Kardashians.

   WARNING: Asking people about their weekend may result in them telling you about it.

   IMAGINE if Facebook, Twitter, and msn all broke at the same time. We might have to actually get lives.