Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1170 of 6383
Lies I've Told A Lot: I acknowledge that I have read and agree to the above terms and conditions.
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07-12-2016 22:16
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I don't understand Pokemon Go AT ALL which I guess officially makes me middle-age.
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07-12-2016 22:15
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I can't wait to see who wins the 100-Yard Dash From A Zika Mosquito in the Rio Olympics.
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07-12-2016 22:14
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facebook doesn't allow breastfeeding photos
Wonder if it would become a national tragedy if a Pokemon Go Character appeared in the middle of a busy freeway?
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07-12-2016 19:09
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My credit score is so bad I have started receiving pre-declined credit card offers!
Donald Trump in 2008: "Well, I know Hillary Clinton and she'd make a good president or good vice president." Then why does Trump support corrupt people?
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07-12-2016 16:25
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Pres. Barack Obama arrives in Dallas where he is expected to deliver a highly personal and emotional speech at a memorial service for the 5 slain police officers. Obama will also find out who shot J.R. Ewing too.
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07-12-2016 16:21
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Being in Costco without family or friends is like being lost in a strange universe. Who am I going to share the poutine with?
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07-12-2016 16:15
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This morning I thanked the Starbucks barista and told him to have a magical day and the lady next to me waiting for coffee stared and said, "I could really use some magic today, could you wish me a magical day too?" Lady, sorry I am not a magician here...
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07-12-2016 16:12
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The economy sux so bad that, I am reciving per-declined credit offers in the mail...
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07-12-2016 16:09
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If you can't love the one you want, love someone who looks like them and just squint a lot
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07-12-2016 16:07
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You know those orange cones they put on the highway for you to knock down? I just beat my high score !
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07-12-2016 16:06
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Loving this new Hula-Hoop app
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07-12-2016 16:02
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Three kinds of Betty Crocker cake mix are being voluntarily recalled by General Mills over concerns they could be contaminated with E.coli. Now that's an exciting new cake flavor if you ask me.
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07-12-2016 16:00
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Bernie, The "Anti-Establishment" candidate ..... Just joined the Establishment.
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07-12-2016 15:03
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Pokemon Go - Get your information stolen and get hit by a car.
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07-12-2016 14:02
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Just when you thought kids were actually beginning to enter into the world of reality ................ Pokemon GO
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07-12-2016 13:17
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" If we build it, They Won't Come." ............. Border Wall
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07-12-2016 13:09
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..... Wonder what would happen if a Pokemon Go character accidentally appeared in the middle of a busy freeway?
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07-12-2016 13:00
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