BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Just because no one liked your "funny" status the first time you posted doesn't mean you should post it 6 more times.

   75% of my regrets involve hitting "send".

   To the guy who named cotton candy: Yes! It looks just like it sounds. To the guy who named Milk Duds: What the hell is wrong with you?

   They really need to add a “download this song illegally” button on Pandora.

   Definition of pointless: Jobless people on Facebook updating their status to 'thank God it's the weekend'

   Love is one long sweet dream… and marriage is the alarm clock.

   LIKE if you do this: Waking up and checking your Facebook like its the morning paper.

   Twitter makes me love people I've never met and Facebook makes me hate people I know in real life.

   There's a new way to transfer funds that's even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.

   In 50 years, a bunch of 80 year-olds will know all the words to The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song.

   You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one damn night!"

   If you didn't hear it with your OWN ears or see it with your OWN eyes, don't go passing it on with your OWN damn mouth!"

   A man's home might be his castle, but his wife is usually the one who rules it.

   The more people I meet, the more I like my damn dog.

   Seriously, there's a fine line between tan and looking liked you rolled around in Doritos.

   The Bible teaches you to love - and the Kamasutra explains how

   u have twitter?-yes- facebook? -yes- tumblr? -yes- blog?-of course- life? I opened an account but I don't really use it!.

   Girl on Facebook statues : I want a guy that actually give a s**t about me. Guy on comment : I thought about you while I was taking s**t .. does that count ?

   Lazy Rules #1:The farther away the remote is, the more you like what's already on TV.

   Hey, I found your nose. It was in my business again.