life Funny Status Messages

   Drugs are just emotions that life is too stingy to give you.

   Sometimes I look at what someone is wearing and I can't help but think, "did you give up on life?"

   Life doesn't come with a remote, so get off your a$$ and change it.

   If I could live my life over again, I'd do everything the same. Except for that time I sh*t my pants in 3rd grade.

   R.I.P. Patrice O'Neal... Dead at 41 but lived life in the Funny Lane.

   “In life we all have an unspeakable secret, and irreversible regret, an unreachable dream, and an unforgettable love.” 

   does PayPal call anyone else 40 times a day from a 208-515-7481? Them people need to get a life! LOL, I'm not paying you!!

   My identity was stolen. I hope they do a better job with my life than I did!

   I'll always be here for you...Unless there's an angry mob after you. Then I've never seen you before in my life.

   Life is full of fake people. Before you decide to judge them, make sure you're not one of them. ♥

   I love sleep, because my life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake.

   I HATE the commercials that try to connect their product to a virtue of life, such as "Mayo....because everyone appreciates being with family." I could be with my family without Mayo, thanks

   It's a facebook status, not an opportunity to spill your whole life story and look for everybody's pity

   There's always that one person who's life you can watch fall apart through facebook statuse$

   I would love to hear more music that is not about sex or even love, because there is other stuff in life.

   It's a weird feeling when you can't remember if something happened in a dream or in real life.

   Welcome to High School. Pick 2- Good Grades, Enough Sleep, or a Social Life

   When life hands you high fructose corn syrup, citric acid, ascorbic acid, maltodextrin, sodium acid pyrophosphate, magnesium oxide, calcium fumarate, yellow 5, tocopherol, and less than 2% natural flavors...make lemonade.

   Wouldn't it stink if there were thousands of other planets that had life, and we on Earth were the ONLY ones who didn't know? And we were the butt of aliens' jokes, i.e. "You're stupid as an Earthling."

   If whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, then the life of someone who lives there must become a void once they leave town.