BEGO Funny Status Messages

   It's not officially summer until you start forgetting what day of the week it is.

   I met a woman who told me she wanted to walk a mile in my shoes. I guess she liked them because that was three weeks ago and I haven't seen her since.

   Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when the person across the aisle is reading it?

   I'm pretty sure my Internet Explorer “error reports” end up the same place my letters to Santa do.

   A man's life is spent between episodes of women being mad at him.

   Teenagers are the most misunderstood people on the planet. They're treated like children, and expected to act like adults.

   I'll never forget from my EX last words: "Are you sure I don't need a parachute?"

   How come the week always lasts longer than the money you have?

   It's what people don't know about each other that makes them such good friends.

   Commitment doesn't scare me, the thought of committing to the wrong person does.

   Dear iPhone, Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shutSincerely, Every iPhone User .

   Dear Trash, At least you get picked up...Sincerely, The Girls of Jersey Shore

   a LEADER, not a follower... But if we're walking into a creepy dark place, SCREW THAT! You're going first!

   Teacher: From all this noise I assume you're done working Student: From all this b**ching I assume you're still single

   I've always wanted to be one of those people who laughs all the way to the bank, instead of one who cries every time he leaves.

   I hate it when someone I don't like says something funny.

   The hardest thing in life is letting go of what you thought was real.

   I am strong because I know my weaknesses. I am alive because i'ma a fighter. I am wise because i've been foolish. and I've laughed because i've known sadness.

   Lazy Rule #19401957294710149: you're so lazy you didn't even finish reading the number.

   Just found out it was raining by looking outside. WTF, Facebook? You're supposed to tell me these things first!