bego Funny Status Messages

   Laugh at your problems, everybody else does

   Pretending to care about what the birthday card says, but you really just want the money.

   Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.

   Tall girl & Short guy = Awkward. Tall girl & Tall guy = Cute. Short girl & Tall guy = Adorable. Short girl & Short guy = AWW.

   5.Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you're in it, but the longer you stay, the more wrinkled you get.

   *1 friend request* (250 mutual friends) “…I still don't know you ...

   Whenever I delete an app on my iPhone, the shaking icons make me feel like they're all panicked over who's getting axed.

   Facebook = Star Wars, Twitter = Empire Strikes Back, Google+ = Return of the Jedi. MySpace = Stupid prequels.

   I love you yet I hate you,its like I want to throw you off a cliff then run really fast to the bottom to catch you ..

   If Facebook shutdown people would be in tears, shoving pictures of themselves in front of mirror in bathrooms and showing on people's faces yelling "DO YOU LIKE THIS?! DO YOU?!"

   Won a time machine on eBay. Disappointed when I received a damn clock.

   If you think what I just said was offensive, you don't want to hear the things that I stopped myself from saying.

   Facebook is daycare for adults.

   Just when you finally get to that moment you've been waiting for all your life, somebody yells "Time's up!"

   I can already hear the birds judging me for sleeping till noon tomorrow.

   If you lose something let it go, but when it comes back, that's how you know.

   Sometimes things just don't work out....like when you finally get your foot in the door, someone slams it!

   “Hey, it's been 6 seconds. Check your phone again.” (my brain)

   Most of the time I think i'd be better off talking to a wall other than you

   I gave a pint of blood yesterday. I hate mosquito season.