bego Funny Status Messages

   Better to go in one ear and out the other than in one ear and out the mouth.

   Beware of people who tell you to "get a life". They may want the one you already have.

   I found out today that you could group your friends on Facebook and name the group whatever you want, however I didn't know it would send the people notificati​ons saying that I added them to the, "People I've f*****.." group, sorry..

   If you spend the rest of your life trying to make up for past mistakes, there won't be any time to make any new ones.

   I live on the corner of Funny Street and Silly Road,in Crazy Town which is in Physco Valley,in a twisted state of mind!

   There's no law against sticking to your guns, but make sure you've loaded your brain before you start firing off your mouth.

   Whenever someone posts something like, “Just went on a massive friend-deleting spree!,” I'm never quite sure whether to feel like a winner for making the cut or a loser for having friends lame e

   I was asked what I would give the woman who has everything? Well…my phone number for a start.

   The phrase “I need to talk to you” has the ability to strike fear into the heart of anyone

   Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison

   Ladies, it's not that there are no good men out there. It's just that you turned down 6 of em that wanted a chance to treat you right and you chose the a$$hole.

   My Dear Ex, Don't get your hopes up about the pics of us on Facebook. The reason why I haven't deleted some of the photos is purely because I look good in them.

   There is never a GOOD way to say BYE.

   "No comment" usually translates into "Oh, if you only knew."

   Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid.

   The bar was closed when I got there with a sign that said, “The door is alarmed.” I said to myself, “How do you think I feel?”

   If I had a nickel for every time a girl said, “I'm Over him, I deleted his number & deleted him off Facebook” & then their back together the next day.

   The amount of paper towel I use to squash and discard a bug is directly related to whether or not I know what kind of bug it is

   So many people fall in love with the wrong person, simply b/c the wrong person will often say all the right things.

   Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.