moon Funny Status Messages

   If you want to know who your real facebook fiends are all you have to do is post that you got a new phone and need numbers.

   Funny how the most romantic gesture you can make nowadays while on a date to show the person your with that your truly interested is done by not looking at your phone.

   For sale: Slightly used Christmas tree. Can pick up in front of neighbors house.

   I understand that in every life a little Rain Must Fall, but what I don't understand is why does it always happen to me the few times when forget to close my car windows?

   A word of advice guys, When a girl says "Aw that's that's very sweet of you" when you ask her out on a date what she's really trying to say is "Back into the friends zone with you!"

   When a girl says "Aw that's that's very sweet of you" to a male friend who asks her out on a date what she's really trying to say is "Back into the friends zone with you!"

   Loving and all these Christmas photos you're posting of your families who look as joyous and festive as the family who came with a picture frame I bought a while ago, who I also don't know.

   When I was a kid I used to have an imaginary friend, but now thanks to Facebook I have hundreds of them!

   If you touch your phone in all the right places a pizza will arrive at your door.

   I'll never understand those baby on board signs? Like thanks for letting me know as I was just about to purposely ram my car into yours for absolutely no apparent reason until I saw your sign!

   If you touch your phone in the right places a hot pizza will arrive at your door!

   Its beginning to look a lot like, I'm starting to get sick and tiered of it being cold and miserable out and I'm ready for summer!

   I believe in Santa! but I'm not so sure if he believes in me?

   So how did Amish.com happen?

   I have all the world's knowledge at the very tips of my fingers where I can find the answers to life's most perplexing questions! and here I am googleing What did Oscar the Grouch do if he overslept on trash day?

   Just cleaned up my friends list, so if you can see this post it means you've made the cut because your special!....or my worst enemy I just want to keep an eye on.

   So I now have 921 friends on my friends list and I just wanted to let you know that you are all awesome people and I love each and everyone of you!!! <3 Except #631

   I think some of my friends are completely irrational and make bad decisions, and we should hang out more.

   Roses are red, facebook is blue no mutual friends, who the hell are you?

   A new study says that a lot of people on social media today will believe anything that starts out by saying a new study says.