Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Who the hell invented Bull Riding? "Hey, I'm gonna hop on that 2,000 pound pissed off animal...Time me!!!"
←Rate | 03-17-2013 12:44 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you can't tell the difference between delivery and Digiorno then you're an idiot.
←Rate | 03-17-2013 12:40 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes words are not enough. That's why I always like to keep a baseball bat with me, just in case...
←Rate | 03-17-2013 09:12 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm going to be very busy in the afterlife. the list of people I'm going to haunt grows everyday.
←Rate | 03-17-2013 09:10 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon WWE: 2 people fighting over a belt even though neither of them is wearing pants.
←Rate | 03-17-2013 09:08 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw a leprechaun once. After enough green beers you begin to see all kinds of things...
←Rate | 03-17-2013 07:49 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon If you ask what I'm thinking my answer will either be so offensive you'll never ask again, or so entertaining you'll ask again minutes later.
←Rate | 03-16-2013 23:17 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm going to drink so much that I find that pot of gold at the end of that rainbow.
←Rate | 03-16-2013 23:13 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If nobody is talking about you, you must not be a very interesting person.
←Rate | 03-16-2013 23:12 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you don't feel just a little bit of shame after the weekend... you're not doing it right.
←Rate | 03-16-2013 22:52 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm all out of damns to give, and only have a few flying f*cks left... but I'm saving those for a special occasion.
←Rate | 03-16-2013 22:52 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want to tell my coworker I have strong feelings for her, but I'm afraid things might get weird if she knows I hate her.
←Rate | 03-16-2013 17:11 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m the type of person who looks at the menu for five minutes but ends up ordering the same exact thing every time.
←Rate | 03-01-2013 14:49 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon The lottery gives you a 1 in 200 million chance you won't go to work tomorrow. Alcohol gives you 1 in 5.
←Rate | 03-01-2013 14:35 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I die, I'm going to have a music player built into my headstone. Just so people can dance on my grave.
←Rate | 03-01-2013 14:27 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I remember a day when actions used to speak louder than words. Then along came Facebook.
←Rate | 03-01-2013 14:23 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I won the Lotto, I decided to share it with my ex. "I won the Lotto, you Slut," I shouted over the phone.
←Rate | 03-01-2013 14:20 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not sure what I hate most about rain. The fact that it's cold, it's wet, or it instantly turns everyone else on the road but you into a bad driver.
←Rate | 03-01-2013 14:15 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have auto-correct for my voice. It's called my girlfriend.
←Rate | 03-01-2013 14:13 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon You send me endless invites to play games here on Facebook but didn't send me an invite to your party...
←Rate | 03-01-2013 14:05 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  




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