Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Watching the media CRASH AND BURN is a joke in itself.

   Stop saying you're moving out of the country. You can't even move out of your parents house so you're not going anywhere. Shut up already.

   In the event that trump wins tonight I'm offering marriage for Canadian citizenship. Opening bid to start st $50,000.

   This is what happens when the Cubs win the World Series.

   This is scarier night then Halloween.

   america just had a big brain fart. oups it's america they just have farts no brain!!

   Waiting for the election results is like waiting for a grade on a group project. I know I did my shi$ right but I'm worried ya'll F'd it up..

   Breaking News! So quiet at the Clinton camp you could hear Bill's pants drop! 😉

   I'm too tired to stay awake and watch... It feels like this U.S. Election night is Christmas Eve, and America's worried Santa might leave coal and sticks instead of presents in the morning.

   Trump Winning? Looks like back to the kitchen Hilary, here's your spatula

   Welcome back to 1956!

   33,000 people attended Hillary clintons rally/ concert yesterday. I wonder if they received the tickets via email..

   As I walk through Walmart......all the sudden the election makes sense.

   America is in labor now, in a few short hours we will find out if it's a boy or a girl.

   You think you're having a bad day, you could be a Siamese twin attached to a gay brother who has a date and you're the only one with an ass.

   ☐ Clinton ☐ Trump ☑ Beer

   Instead of voter fraud, why don't they just call it Electile Dysfunction?

   I participated in the downfall of America, and all I got was this lousy sticker?

   Pick-of-the-Day Special. An egotistical idiot OR WWIII. Choose wisely.

   I voted...for Medical Marijuana.