Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1085 of 6384
Never try to reason with a person who wants to save every stray animal alive but is fine with killing 3,000 babies a day...
←Rate |
09-14-2016 15:54
Comments (0)
Pastor Steven Anderson needs so much Botox on his frowning forehead, even his god can't help him.
←Rate |
09-14-2016 15:51
Comments (0)
Deplorable and Proud. -My new T-Shirt
←Rate |
09-14-2016 12:38
Comments (0)
I just walked by an old man who kept saying, “One, three, five, seven, nine… one, three, five, seven, nine…” I thought, “How odd.”
My wife threatened to leave me if I didn’t stop with the endless flamingo impressions. So I had to put my foot down.
Donald Trump is starting a petition to stop the sale of pre-shredded cheese. He’s very serious about trying to make the USA grate again.
LIberals scream billying the loudest, then call whoever who do not agree with them, the worst words and degrade them. Just like a bully.
←Rate |
09-14-2016 11:10
Comments (0)
The 3 fastest means of communication: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman
←Rate |
09-14-2016 08:56
Comments (0)
My family crest is a single rotisserie chicken.
←Rate |
09-14-2016 05:44
Comments (0)
Oh shut up. You weren't even offended by the word deplorable until you looked it up.
←Rate |
09-14-2016 05:43
Comments (0)
If I say "1-2-3-and to the 4" and you don't respond "Snoop Doggy Dogg and Dr. Dre is at tha door"....I guess we never really knew each other.
←Rate |
09-14-2016 05:42
Comments (0)
How To Satisfy Fast Food Cravings: 1) Grab a handful of almonds. 2) Step off the building.
←Rate |
09-14-2016 05:41
Comments (0)
SHOCKING: Last night, all the cellists in the Hollywood Bowl orchestra sat during the National Anthem.
←Rate |
09-14-2016 05:38
Comments (0)
Screaming at Kaepernick to stand up during the national anthem seems slightly more disrespectful.
←Rate |
09-14-2016 05:36
Comments (0)
I fashioned a Snuggie out of several ShamWows. I look like an idiot, but I'm extremely absorbent.
←Rate |
09-14-2016 05:36
Comments (0)
80's - Republicans vote for an actor. 10's - Republicans vote for a reality star. ...Why do they still blame Hollywood for everything?
←Rate |
09-14-2016 05:35
Comments (0)
As it turns out Juggalos cannot juggle and now I'm wishing I hadn't invited so many over.
←Rate |
09-14-2016 05:34
Comments (0)
Surgeon General's Warning To Parents: When your kids are old enough to buy their own birthday presents for you, the gifts get really, really crappy.
←Rate |
09-14-2016 05:33
Comments (0)
Latest Galllup Presidential Poll: Hillary Clinton's body double is now polling higher than Jill Stein.
←Rate |
09-14-2016 05:32
Comments (0)
If out of all the things to protest in the world right now, you chose Ryan Lochte, I hope you get swimmer's ear.
←Rate |
09-14-2016 05:31
Comments (0)