Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Martin L King ... Looted nothing, Burned nothing, Attacked .... NO ONE ....... Yet ... CHANGED THE WORLD. Time for people to wake up ..... It's the mind ... Not the emotions that holds the power.
←Rate | 11-13-2016 01:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon After a Nation Wide Survey we have determined that there were actually 3% more Cleveland Indian fans than Cubs fans. We hereby demand that the Chicago Cubs relinquish their World Series Title!!! ..... Said no sane person ever.
←Rate | 11-13-2016 00:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Cubs are not my World Series Champions!!!! Protest and Boycott the unfair World Series!!
←Rate | 11-12-2016 13:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon [grocery produce aisle]... ME: Hi, are these genetically modified carrots?.. CLERK: No, why do you ask?... CARROT: Yeah, why do you ask?
←Rate | 11-12-2016 12:42 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon At first glance, the word "Diputseromneve" looks confusing and retarded. However, if you read it backwards it's even more stupid.
←Rate | 11-12-2016 11:25 by Michael Hall Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING NEWS: Game show hosts going on strike... They know their jobs are in Jeopardy,.. but they won't settle until they can get a contract where The Price Is Right.
←Rate | 11-12-2016 11:02 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon All I'm sayin is how do you expect your gluteus to be maximus,,, if you don't eat your bacon?
←Rate | 11-12-2016 09:29 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey protesters, while you're marching for equality for something that hasn't even happened yet, why don't you march on over the ND where Native American rights have been getting violated for over a year? Oh, it doesn't affect you. Got it.
←Rate | 11-12-2016 09:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My favorite dinosaurs were the carbivores... You never hear about them because they went extinct before the others,,, You know cuz,, like all the gluten and such...
←Rate | 11-12-2016 08:53 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon In these trying times, I want to find good in this world so here goes,,,,, I am extremely grateful that Cap'n Crunch leaves far more gently than it enters.
←Rate | 11-12-2016 08:48 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wtf? I like something and the site reverts back to page 1!
←Rate | 11-12-2016 08:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just introduced a guy wearing a hoodie with shorts, to a guy wearing a vest... They're fighting... Umm Wait,, That's actually making out, they're making out.
←Rate | 11-12-2016 08:34 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hot Kraft singles in your area are difficult to open, and really not good cheese anyway,,,, So....
←Rate | 11-12-2016 08:30 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me: But God, where did the second set of footprints go?.. God: That's when you were dating that psycho. I wasn't sticking around for that.
←Rate | 11-12-2016 08:28 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING- the only way Trump is not your president is if you move to another country. See ya! Don't let the Wall hit you on the way out.
←Rate | 11-12-2016 08:13 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Meanwhile Mexico is digging through its couch looking for change to pay for the wall......
←Rate | 11-12-2016 06:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The so called bullied became the bullies and are now bullying America because of one bully? What's next groping?
←Rate | 11-12-2016 05:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm a simple man, I see titties I click
←Rate | 11-12-2016 05:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So is every room in a Trump hotel now a presidential suite?
←Rate | 11-12-2016 04:46 by iceqube Comments (0)  


   messageicon I doubt most of these rioters even remember all of the amazing riots and protest violence that happened when President Obama was elected President ..... Oh wait ... there weren't any .... Ever.
←Rate | 11-12-2016 02:30 Comments (1)  




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