BEGO Funny Status Messages

   when you run like a ninja to your charger when your phone is low battery

   On a walk, my son saw a pay phone, asked what it was. I made him look it up on his Iphone..

   Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Today, you're here. Coincidence?

   I hate when I miss a call by a few seconds, call the person back and they don`t answer.

   I'm not needy. I'm wanty

   Autocorrect can kiss my ask!

   I want a phone that does everything but ring.

   Never trust a dog to watch your food.

   When I think of a good status in the shower, I run out dripping & naked and post it before the internet ends and it's too late.

   There's probably no problem in the world that can't be resolved by a good ol' fashioned Facebook survey.

   Marriage; the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy a license.

   A picture is worth a thousand words. Yours just says “slut” a thousand times in a row

   U know some fairy tales begin with “Once upon a time…” Others begin with “If elected, I promise…”

   You can't hurry love, but you can honk the horn a few times and let it know you're waiting.

   Updating my status in the car. Don't worry, I'm in the passenger seat. Which makes it harder to drive, but fools the damn cops.

   I've got to stop believing everything I think.

   LIKE if your parents ask you to do something and you tell them you'll do it in ten minutes then you never do it.

   Talk about others and you're a gossip. Talk about yourself and you're a bore.

   First, love yourself. Everyone else, get in line.

   Never trust a gut feeling on an empty stomach.