Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   If I don't get at least one friend deletion on facebook every now and then, I feel as if I'm being all I can be.

   Remember when Sarah Palin was the dumbest person in politics? Good times......

   Can we put a door in the wall so I can still get my yard mowed?

   Let's be honest: The refugees being detained at JFK airport have gone through more vetting than Donald Trump's cabinet.

   We are building a fence and I'm gonna make my neighbors pay for it.

   What bothers me most about liberal women, is that none of them are hot enough to be this stupid.

   Trump is not my president, neither was Obama. I am from Zimbabwe.

   Iran bans on all Americans from entering their country. So much for my "Tehran Endless Beach Tour". Sandy beaches, everywhere, as far as the eye can see. So sad.

   Apparently America has a very difficult time understanding and differentiating between the simple terms "Legal" and "Illegal."

   Considering it's climate and geographical location, I am surprised at the incredible amount and gigantic volume of Snowflakes there are in California!!!

   I think a true warrior for Women's rights would be fighting for the voices and rights of those millions of Unborn Women.

   Why would anyone in the United States oppose an actual investigation into Voter Fraud? As William Shakespear once wrote .... "Methinks thou dost protesteth too much!"

   President Donald Trump will sign an executive order tomorrow to bring back Pluto as a planet. Make the universe GREAT again.

   America what is wrong with you?

   Irony is their king is the biggest snowflake of all!

   How soon can we start building a wall around California?

   What's the difference between a druggist and a drug dealer? One sells drugs LEGALLY. What's the difference between an immigrant who came to the US lawfully, and one who snuck in? One's here LEGALLY. See?

   I took my ex out last night, it only took one punch! :)

   Anyone ever notice the pro abortion crowd looks like they never "get any" in the first place?

   Waiter, bring me a bowl of turtle soup and make it snappy.