BEGO Funny Status Messages

   You know what I really hate? When I miss someones call by a few minutes and when I call back they don't answer

   I hate it when teachers say, “You think it's funny?” Obviously it is, if it wasn't I wouldn't be laughing…

   Best thing about being single… -no drama -no fighting -no crying -no feelings -no confusion -no worries -no PROBLEMS!

   A wife is somebody who won't tell you what to do but will get mad when you don't do what she wanted you to do.

   Admit it, we've all tried to splash water in our face like the commercials.

   I swear, if Facebook changes their layout one more time, I'm going to post a status update about it & then use their site as much as always.

   I'm pretty sure Whoopi Goldberg is Lil Wayne's real mother..

   That mini heart attack when you can't feel your phone in your pocket!

   I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. It's the good girls men should be warned against.

   Once they stop talking to you, they start talking about you.

   Don't you hate it when people just randomly tag you in their Facebook post!?

   I can memorize twenty song lyrics before I can memorize one answer to a question on a test -_-

   Putting you're offline chat on Facebook so it actually looks like you have a life and don't sit on Facebook all day.

   Girls ignore nice guys, Chase a$#holes, Then they have the nerve to complain about it..

   Sunglasses; they allow you to stare at people without being caught..

   OH NICE, so you can update your status via mobile, but you can't text me back?

   Every time I lose my phone, it's always on either silent or vibrate. How convenient…

   Of course you can trust the government. Just ask a Native American how that worked out.

   Relationship Status: ( ) Single ( ) In a Relationship ( ) Married ( ) Engaged ( ) Divorced (X) Waiting for a miracle

   Reading someone's status and thinking ‘OH CRY ME A RIVER'