BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Hey Facebook Friends, what's the best gym to pretend that you go to?

   Like sands through the hourglass, Facebook wastes the days of our lives.

   Many a wife thinks her husband is the world's greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it.

   “Delete, Block, Ignore” Its too bad getting rid of people in life is not as easy as it is on Facebook..

   Mirror: You look amazing. Camera: I don't think so... Friends: Hey you, someone looks beautiful! Self-esteem: You're ugly.

   Facebook is not the place to reveal your deepest darkest secrets. Your friends "like" you but they don't like you that much!

   You'll never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks. Rather keep biscuits in your pocket, feed the dogs & move ahead.

   I have a lot of friends practicing law without a degree. They all want to judge me.

   In kindergarden they call them cooties. in high school we call them STDs...

   This is how my week goes mooooooooooooonday.. tuuuuuuuuuuuuesday... weeeeeeeeeeednesday... thuuuuuuuuuuursday.. fridaysaturdaysunday....

   Maan !! You're 20 years old & she's 15 years old, HOW COULD YOU CALL IT RELATIONSHIP ? IT'S BABYSITTING !

   Hey Reality, I've a extremely large list of people you've forgot to slap!

   I liked you when we first met but, since then, you've talked me out of it.

   PSA: You may “love” your boyfriend, But we'd all appreciate it if you didn't post it on Facebook every thirty seconds, thanks.

   LIKE if you text someone a paragraph and then 30 minutes later you get a damn lame reply saying "LOL".

   Everyone does about ten sit ups every morning. It might not sound like much, but there are only so many times you can hit the snooze button.

   My girlfriend and I have an open relationship and will continue to do so right up until she finds out.

   Rumors are the sauce of a dry life.

   When I drop my phone, I act like I've dropped a new born baby.

   The wife and I just sat in a hot car and bickered for six hours. It was the same as going on vacation except we saved $1000.