bego Funny Status Messages

   That lonely moment when the only text message you get all day is from your cell phone company..

   BRB Means I'm not really going anywhere, but neither is this conversation..

   Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status... After 3 it should default to " Unstable "

   Boy: I wear the pants in this relationship. Girl: yah but I control the damn zipper.

   it rude to throw a breath mint in someone's mouth while they are talking?

   Life is like a can of whipped cream.....you have to shake things up a little before you get anything out of it.

   When I was a child,I acted like a child and had imaginary friends,now they just call it facebook.

   There is 2 types of ugly girls; the UGLY girls, and the girls with MAKE-UP.

   With all the people on my back, it's a miracle I can even walk.

   Dramatically slamming a book shut upon finishing it was way more satisfying than switching my Kindle off and gently placing it on the table.

   I hate the people that cover up their answers, Like c'mon.. Lets work together bro..

   Why don't you go buy a diary Instead of posting your whole life story on Facebook?

   The number one lie in the whole world is...i swear I will love you forever..

   Today's Facebook forecast: Partly boring, increased drama, and a really good chance of bulls**t.

   Life is harder for the beautiful people. I'm sorry you'll never know.

   That urge you get to write “No one gives a crap” on someone's status.

   Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. 

   Before I go to sleep, I start imagining stuff that I would like to happen.

   If bars can say no to drunk people why won't McDonalds say no to fat people?

   LIKE if you do this :: *Wrong password.* “OMG SOMEONE HAS HACKED ME! “Oh, it's on caps lock…