Jitney Funny Status Messages

   I hate it when me and my subconscious is having a heated debate...and just when I come up with good comebacks, it thinks up a even better one! I thought about drinking on Friday, subconscious said "how about now!".... good one!

   Just cuz, I likkes one of your Pictures doesnt mean to come and inbox me stuppid assss questions like, "where are you these days?" , "Duh bitcch, on FB!!!"

   These days alot of celebrities are getting divorces. Micheal Jordan just got married, I wonder when the new Air Divorces are comming out?

   News media should report more about professional NBA/NFL cheerleaders that comes out and says their lesbian or gay.....

   Its trash pick up day tomorrow and my dumb neighbor forgot to take out my mother-n-law!!!! Now i've gotta dump trash all over his yard again!

   Deleting ppl from FB has become the new way to hang-up on ppl. I still miss the feeling I get from hanging-up the phone on someone face!!

   Hey Budyy...."yeah you who is reading this"......Are you still waiting for something funnny? Give me a sec, I'm getting a BJ.....

   WOW: term used by women when they are amazed that one person can be so stupid!!!

   During drought season, I consider a paper bag, and good make up for ugly chicks to wear in bed

   Typical lol, how all of Boston is on lockdown and businesses are close, except for the Dunken doughnuts which is mandated to run for the duration of the Manhunt!

   Great Thanks to these doushbags, now I gotta get a background check for a pressure cooker at Sears......

   We should probably get ready for the Celebrity Plea for Donation....like they cant flip the bill themselves...

   Sometimes You have to realize that ......( some people can stay in your HEART without being in your LIFE ) ......

   Imagining the horrified look on your kid's face when you tell them "When I was born there was no internet".

   Vampires beware!!!! Blade has been released!!!!

   Ummm its not the same when your writing about SCANDAL or any other show when everyone did that days ago on faceboook!

   My wife was complaining that she isnt in shape!!!! Now I sleep on the sofa, becuase I told her Round is a shape!

   Good News to a Pastor: The Church attendance rose dramatically the last three weeks. Bad News: The pastor was on vacation.

   I dont have a short temper, I just have a quick reaction to bulllllshhhiittttts!

   Right to bear arms meant only muskets? Is like saying right to free speech only meant the old English spoken in 1700s....