FADOLO Funny Status Messages

   If your chinese store dont have bullet proof glass then your not in the hood.!

   MY girlfriend says I'm too immature for her. I'm still trying to figure out how she got past my force field.

   White Parent: *Knock Knock* May I Come In? Blck Parent: *BOOM BOOM* OPEN UP DIS GOT DAMN DOOR, you DONT PAY NO BILLS TO BE LOCKIN DOORS

   BoObs are to men what laser pointers are to cats.

   you're an overweight female who wears Yoga Pants everyday? Please continue to do so, I love throwing up in my mouth

   Good morning beautiful ladies "Kisses" Good morning ugly ladies "handshakes"...

   (╮°-°)╮┳━┳ " make me a Sandwich!" .. Girlfriend : ( -.-) "HELL NO!" ..... (╯°□°)╯ ┻━┻ "THE HELL YOU SAY ?"

   Whenever people start getting too close to me I talk into my watch as I hold eye contact with them.

   Ladies, why does it take you so long to get ready? Is it that hard to put on a fu?king apron?

   (づ▶__◢)づ︻┳デ═一 say YOLO one more time.

   The corner of my bathtub is also referred to as "The Shampoo Bottle Graveyard" ?*

   Sum girls beg&sum girls borrow sum girls lead & sum girls follow sum bring joy & sum bring sorrow but the best girls just suck & swallow!!

   How I think I sound when I sing: ♪┗ (･o･ ) ┓ \( ﾟヮﾟ)/ ♪┏(･o･)┛♪ How I actually sound when I sing: (╬ ಠ益ಠ) щ(ﾟДﾟщ) ヽ(ｏ`皿′ｏ)

   Fat girls be sounding good on the phone ....

   ME: Monday ƪ(´~`")∫ Tuesday (-____-)"" Wednesday (⌣́_⌣̀) Thursday Ҩ( > ̯ < )Ҩ Friday (ˆ⌣ˆ)ง Saturday ~('▽'~) (~'▽')~ Sunday (˘ʃ_ƪ˘)

   Need hospital etiquette advice. How long should you wait after they pull the plug to ask if you can use the socket to charge your phone?

   It's never acceptable to hit a woman, unless that trick puts light mayo in your sandwich.

   "My phone's about to die." -Me, 30 seconds into every phone call.

   Lady GaGa was born this way 8======D

   ┐('.'┐) ┐('.'┐) (┌'.')┌ ┐('.'┐) (┌'.')┌ (┌'.')┌ cus' this is thriller, thriller night...@