sweetlikeantifreeze Funny Status Messages

   You never realize what you have till it's gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

   Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he'll eat for life. Give an octopus nunchuks, no one's eating fish ever again

   Dinner guests coming over later and I forgot to take something out. Does anyone know how to turn beef jerky back into steaks?

   If I ever get Bieber fever, just let the fever kill me.

   Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will track you down… You have my word

   Let's all take a moment and be thankful spiders can't fly

   I don't hate you…I'm just not necessarily excited about your existence

   I want a drug sniffing dog but for all the wrong reasons

   Nomophobia, the fear of being without a cell phone, is the most common phobia

   Stop adding people you don't know on Facebook as your “friends”. Friends aren't Pokemon cards, you can't collect them all!