randizzle Funny Status Messages

   If only those tight shirts with the bedazzled wings on the back that some guys wear would allow them to fly far, far away, the world just might be a better place.

   You know...Barbie has an awful lot of nice things for a girl whose knees do not bend.

   If only those tight shirts with the bedazzled wings on the back that some guys wear would allow them to fly far, far away, the world just might be a better place.

   I appreciate that Motel 6 will leave the light on for me, because otherwise, I'm certain I would be murdered in their parking lot.

   The nutritional facts on a box should just tell you the amount of exercise needed to burn off what you're about to eat.

   When a girl gives me a hug, my hands envy my chest.

   It disturbs me that my boss, the guy who controls whether or not I keep my job, has one of those magic 8 balls on his desk.

   I remember when the phrase "I'm completely bald" only referred to your head.

   I can only listen to you cybergripe about your problems for so long before I expect a pic of your boobs as payment for my services.

   To the producers of Tylenol cherry-flavored cough syrup, HAVE you ever tasted a cherry before??