Zack Funny Status Messages

   Can anyone tell me how to become a illegal immigrant, their benefits are undeniably more superior to our own.

   Women may never understand the enjoyment from putting a warm coffee mug between their legs in the morning. ‪#‎warmnuts

   So I wanted to publicly apologize for not doing the ice bucket challenge for everyone that nominated me. I don't give money to charity, unless she is on stage B at 11:30.

   Another successful year no random father's day cards in the mail!!!

   2 years ago the creator of redbull died, to this day his eyes are still open.

   Spilled a my redbull on my phone this morning, now my phone wont come out of airplane mode

   I think Commercials on Pandora & Youtube are the Devil.

   Drinking Red Bull cured me, Conclusion; my cells allowed bacteria and viruses inside to kill them for sport.

   Its so cold I had to rub two ice cubes together to start a fire

   Happy 15th birthday google, 3 more years and you will be able to search for adult sites legally