Rickster Funny Status Messages

   I watched about five minutes of Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter on Netflix. That may be the worst thing that has happened to Abraham Lincoln in a theater

   Ironically "Chumbawamba" totally got knocked down and never got up again

   I bet Pavlov felt like feeding the dogs every time a bell rang

   Stuff your mask with M&Ms so you can eat them all day long like a horse

   Revenge is a dish best served eventually

   20 years ago no one knew what gluten was. Now there are like three people left in the world who can eat a bagel

   I think I have this figured out .... politicians are a bunch of rich people convincing poor people to vote for the rich people by telling the poor people that the "Other" rich people are the reason they are poor

   My 5 year plan is to survive this year

   Yesterday I accidentally sent a naked picture of me to everyone in my address book. Not only was it embarrassing but it cost a fortune in stamps

   Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at a time