Brian Funny Status Messages

   Happy 237th birthday America, you have achieved a level of corruption that rivals the crown we freed ourselves from.

   I don't understand why they're making such a big deal over the Tesco burgers..... Seriously, how many times have you said I'm so hungry I could eat a horse????

   City girls slip and slide, Country girls grip and ride!!

   **News Flash** The real NFL refs will be back on the field tonight for the Browns/Ravens game. In other news, Footlocker hired a bunch of people and are now fully staffed again.

   I would TGIF, but he scheduled me to work Saturday ...

   and why, when I answered the phone, it was a guy on the other line??

   Why, when my dad left his phone in the car his phone rang and the ringtone was "Love in this club" by Usher???

   4 hour naps suck! I don't even know whether it's daytime still or night time already...

   You know you're in love when you're standing in line at Forever 21 making a return on a dress and panties that your girlfriend was too embarrassed to do herself!

   You're like a drug to me, not only am I hooked on you but you're also ruining my life...