Banjaxed Funny Status Messages

   I just walked up to a guuy with an eye patch and asked him was it really fun and games at that point

   last night the ghost of Gloria gaynor oke me from my sleep.....at first I was afraid I was petrified

   For anyone interested , I will be signing books at Barnes and Noble from 6PM until I am escorted out by securuty

   I was sitting across the bus today from a very sexy Thai girl...and I kept saying to myself "Don't get an erection , Don't get an erection"....But she did

   I bought a pair of "Meatloaf" underwear today..on the front it says "I would do anything for Love" and on the back it says "But I wont do that"

   Apple Maps projects Obama to win Paraguay

   I have a fear of speed bumps but I'm slowly getting over it

   ever meet someone and want to tell them to go get a bath????........with a toaster???

   Whenever a bird craps on my car , I sit on my front porch and eat a plate of scrambled eggs just to let them know what I am capable of

   somedays it hardly seems worth it to chew through the leather straps