Funny Status Messages for FacebookStatus message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
X says Just to annoy my therapist, I’ll ask him; “so how does needing therapy after seeing me make you feel?"
X says Relationship Status: Intercepting blown kisses.
X says 90% of socializing is wondering what to do with your hands when out in public.
X says Me: *kisses her on both cheeks goodbye* Cashier: That's really not necessary
X says Horoscope: Yes she got all your texts.
X says One day girl, all those flashing lights and sirens will be for us.
X says Please don't let the trainee make my burrito please don't let the trainee make my burrito please don't let the trainee make my burrito. Dammit the trainee is making my burrito.
X says "But why?" - Me at weddings
X says But Officer, that's just my medicinal sawed-off shotgun.
X says [breaks apart couple holding hands] You're free now
X says [During Interview] "Do you have any questions?" - Yeah, in The Titanic why did Jack sink when he died but everyone else floated?
X says If your dog weighs less than 10lbs, it's technically a cat
X says "Welcome to fightclub you may now kiss the bride."
X says And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas......." Just as well really, they would only f*cking ask for aid to help clear it away.
X says Debt doesn't buy happiness either.
X says Someone called me lazy today I almost objected.
X says It's actually the voices outside my head that bothers me the most.
X says Everybody needs a playground...
X says There's still so much I have to unlearn.
X says How do women think without a pen*s?