Funny Status Messages for Facebook

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X The dress was white and gold until it decided to go on a date with Chris Brown.

X Brian Williams says he engineered the electrical system.

X says My dyslexia has reached a new owl.

X says The best way to solve your relationship problems is to post about them on the internet and let your friends solve them for you.

X A White that talks this way, is an underprivileged insecure white. “If Jesus was really for the poor, vulnerable and abused then he would have been born a minority, not a privileged white.”

X says A friend of mine drinks their coffee so black, it shot at him. . .

X says Ronda Rousey raped me, ok it wasn't rape, I enjoyed it. . .

X says My dog says that dress is grey.

X says If Jesus was really for the poor, vulnerable and abused then he would have been born a minority, not a privileged white.

X says Fear of bugs

X says Black Coffee

X says SPORT - for dumb and ugly people to also become rich and famous!

X says Hidup di jaman edan begini.. Harus ikut edan.. Kalau tidak edan bisa tidak hidup

X says Social media

X says Hi, I hate Rob Lowe, I think about kicking his a$$ every time I see his stupid commercial. . .

X says Beginning of relationship- 1) Don’t ever change. 2) You have to change. 3) You’ve changed. -End of relationship-

X says The further you push me away, the more I begin to enjoy viewing you from a distance.

X says Devil with the blue dress on...oh wait is that a Gold dress. Well, either way .....the prince of darkness is a cross-dresser.

X says I hear Black Sabbath and Blue Oyster Cult are planning a reunion. They're going to call it the White and Gold Tour.

X says Brett also got me a pen for my birthday.....He should have splurged and gotten a better one though... I can totally get out of this one....