Funny Status Messages for Facebook

X says If the world was a school, the united states would be the special class.

←Rate | 12-05-2013 00:01 by Terry Comments (0)

X says It's damn funny when a wife think's she's punishing her husband by not talking to him for days..

←Rate | 12-04-2013 23:50 Comments (0)

X says You ever notice that the people with the most insecurities are the loudest?

←Rate | 12-04-2013 23:06 by EF Comments (0)

X says There's a fine line between looking for someone who makes you happy and looking for someone who makes you horny. . .

←Rate | 12-04-2013 21:29 Comments (0)

X says ELF YOU!

←Rate | 12-04-2013 21:17 Comments (0)

X Ten minutes left in the workday. This is where I use the restroom, and wash my hands for a long time.

←Rate | 12-04-2013 18:25 by Goodeolboy Comments (1)

X says We were actually 36th in math and 24th in reading. This is still nothing to be proud of but it still thought I should make it accurate.

←Rate | 12-04-2013 17:48 Comments (1)

X says According to a new report, America's teenagers are 30th in the world in math. Luckily, America's teenagers will never understand the report because they're 85th in reading.

←Rate | 12-04-2013 17:03 by McKibben Comments (0)

X It always warms my heart to see celebrities getting into the Christmas spirit, Paul Walker is currently decorating a tree.

←Rate | 12-04-2013 16:52 by Tom Wolf Comments (0)

X says I don't care how the future pans out, any amazon delivery from now on is referred to as a drone strike.

←Rate | 12-04-2013 16:14 by EF Comments (0)

X says So is it too soon to start making Paul Walker Fast & Furious jokes?

←Rate | 12-04-2013 15:31 by Kentonius Maximus Comments (0)

X says Sorry I dropped it, but I only hold pretty babies.

←Rate | 12-04-2013 15:08 Comments (0)

X says Sometimes, you can just tell it's gonna be a "does not play well with others" kind of day.

←Rate | 12-04-2013 15:01 by Czovczov Comments (0)

X says A CUTE GIRL SMILED AT ME AT THE GROCERY STORE I GOT HER LICENCE PLATE NUMBER I'LL LOOK IT UP LATER AND CALL HER

←Rate | 12-04-2013 14:42 Comments (0)

X says If the grass appears to be greener on the other side it's probably because that's where the septic tank is.

←Rate | 12-04-2013 14:32 Comments (0)

X says Save the Drama fo' yo' Mama.

←Rate | 12-04-2013 14:29 Comments (0)

X says If the grass appears to be greener on the other side it's probably because snakes like to hide in luxury.

←Rate | 12-04-2013 14:27 by Czovczov Comments (0)

X says I think it's time I find the right one to settle down with. By right one I mean a bottle of whiskey and by settle down with I mean drunk.

←Rate | 12-04-2013 14:22 Comments (0)

X says Why is it called "multiple orgasms" and not "Obsessive Cumming Disorder"?

←Rate | 12-04-2013 14:12 Comments (0)

X says gonna try out a new yoga position alone in my bed tonight it's called the bermuda cryangle

←Rate | 12-04-2013 13:47 by Baddie Comments (0)