Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon The best way to teach your little kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream
←Rate | 02-24-2017 19:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Perhaps we should stop arguing about Republicans and Democrats and start talking about the Banks and Corporations controlling them ...
←Rate | 02-24-2017 19:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Something for you guys to be proud of: A picture of Trump is the cover page of the KKK's website. You guys sure can worship.....
←Rate | 02-24-2017 19:36 by Ray Comments (0)  

   messageicon My hack was accounted!
←Rate | 02-24-2017 17:46 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon With all the transgender BS going on. I am worried about claiming to be a man. I'm confused. . .
←Rate | 02-24-2017 16:20 by JAB Comments (0)  

   messageicon I live in constant fear that Columbia House is going to send the repo man to get the cd's I never paid for .
←Rate | 02-24-2017 14:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Think I'll move to Alaska and live in a cabin. They'll make a tv show about me and call it Young Grisly Adams. My best friend will be a bear........oooooooooh how gay!?
←Rate | 02-24-2017 14:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon NASA announced that the Earth-like planets orbiting Trappist-1 already has about 300 Starbucks on them.
←Rate | 02-24-2017 14:27 by Niltzz Comments (0)  

   messageicon Only cowards uses the name "Anonymous"
←Rate | 02-24-2017 14:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Lakestalker, how can you be proud of your anti-black rants? Idiot!
←Rate | 02-24-2017 13:32 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Trump is down in the polls, yet way up on the Dow. Where would you rather put your money?
←Rate | 02-24-2017 13:15 by Mickey Comments (3)  

   messageicon Trump supporters be like: Mexicans stole my teeth.
←Rate | 02-24-2017 11:24 by Ray Comments (0)  

   messageicon had this one night stand, and the next morning I felt so guilty I bought another one for the other side of the bed.
←Rate | 02-24-2017 09:39 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I now identify as someone who is disappointed in everyone. I don't care about your bathrooms, I am just gonna pee where I want.
←Rate | 02-24-2017 09:36 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Madonna was offering blowjobs to men for their vote for Hillary. I took the blow job and still voted for Trump. . .
←Rate | 02-24-2017 08:49 by JAB Comments (0)  

   messageicon Nasa announced that the Earth-like planets orbiting Trappist-1 already has intelligent life forms because none of them voted for Trump.
←Rate | 02-24-2017 08:42 by @thebrodieking Comments (0)  

   messageicon I agree with Trump. Minorities are destroying this country. Especially the blacks, who does nothing but steal and rape.
←Rate | 02-24-2017 08:10 by Lakestalker Comments (1)  

   messageicon That uncomfortable moment at a feminist picnic when they realize no one made any sammiches.
←Rate | 02-24-2017 07:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Original Transgender: Titanic Captain: We're short on boats, women & children first. Guy1*coughs*: I identify as a woman. Guy2:I'm a woman too
←Rate | 02-24-2017 00:01 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  

   messageicon If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have? The Trump Card
←Rate | 02-23-2017 23:04 by Ray Comments (21)  


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