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Funny Status Messages for Facebook

Status message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
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X I finally got around to reading 50 Shades of Grey and I don't see what the big deal is.....I mean its no different then all of the other Sherwin Williams brochures that I've looked through......
←Rate | 07-25-2014 20:27 by scottyp Comments (0)


X says Oh great. The 50 shades of grey movie comes out Valentine's day... I'm Not opposed to seeing it, my issue is if not going to first showing off day, odds go up exponentially as the day goes on that you'll be sitting in a wet chair.
←Rate | 07-25-2014 19:07 Comments (0)


X I thought fifty shades of grey was a book about the color on us old people hair
←Rate | 07-25-2014 18:39 by MWC Comments (0)


X I love when people say to me… Omg! Your so funny on FB. If they only knew about my awesome copy & paste ability..They could be just as funny!
←Rate | 07-25-2014 16:51 Comments (0)




X has the NYPD found the "Vandals" that took the American flags off the Brooklyn Bridge and replaced them with French flags yet?
←Rate | 07-25-2014 14:55 Comments (0)


X Hot girls TBT are from last year. Fat girls TBT are from the last decade.
←Rate | 07-25-2014 13:59 Comments (0)


X A bunch of old dudes-Rat Pack. A bunch of middle aged dudes- Brat Pack. A bunch of teenage dudes- Whack Pack
←Rate | 07-25-2014 13:56 Comments (0)


X My introverts club met today...at separate houses.
←Rate | 07-25-2014 12:25 Comments (0)


X says Having my boss over for dinner. Does anyone know where I can find a nice bottle of chianti?
←Rate | 07-25-2014 12:07 Comments (0)


X says There is a new mohel in town. He doesn't charge for his services; he only takes tips.
←Rate | 07-25-2014 12:03 Comments (0)


X says There is a special place in Hell for people that pass memes off as their own
←Rate | 07-25-2014 11:24 by ef Comments (0)


X says Always drink upstream of the buffalo herd.
←Rate | 07-25-2014 10:56 Comments (0)


X says Strangers who think it's okay to just have a random chat with me is what's wrong with the world today.
←Rate | 07-25-2014 10:45 by Baddie Comments (0)


X says I'm only sitting in the back of this police car for the free donuts.
←Rate | 07-25-2014 10:39 Comments (0)


X says 2 game suspension for knocking a woman out cold? Good thing he didn't rape her too, they might have made him clean up the stadium after the games too.
←Rate | 07-25-2014 09:35 by Mitch Comments (0)


X says I’ve been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now I may as well call them traditions.
←Rate | 07-25-2014 07:29 Comments (0)


X says The only way I know if I’ve bought enough beer is if my car thinks I have a passenger.
←Rate | 07-25-2014 07:29 Comments (0)


X says You’d think the people in front of me at this self-checkout were trying to operate a nuclear reactor.
←Rate | 07-25-2014 07:28 Comments (0)


X says It’s amazing how fast your mood can change after you step in some water with socks on.
←Rate | 07-25-2014 07:28 Comments (0)


X says The best thing about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that lonely bed of yours. Left, right, middle, whatever.
←Rate | 07-25-2014 07:26 Comments (0)

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