Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon According to trump, the water from the hurricane is wet.
←Rate | 09-20-2018 18:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Trump signs VA bill to help VETS. MAGA!!!!
←Rate | 09-20-2018 17:53 Comments (0)  

   messageicon How can you fill up a room with people without putting a single person in it? .......
←Rate | 09-20-2018 17:33 by Haha Comments (0)  

   messageicon ....... Fill the room with married people.
←Rate | 09-20-2018 17:30 by Haha Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why did the black cross the road? To rob the house on the other side.
←Rate | 09-20-2018 16:37 by Lynn Comments (0)  

   messageicon This Monday is brought to you by the word "f*ck" and the letter u.
←Rate | 09-20-2018 15:41 by Stevielea Comments (0)  

   messageicon How come no one knew who Monica or Colin was until they got on their knees.
←Rate | 09-20-2018 14:01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Are you weirdos still mad at shoes?
←Rate | 09-20-2018 13:43 Comments (0)  

   messageicon This is just sad. Can you people be man enough to admit you hate CNN because they're anti-Trump?
←Rate | 09-20-2018 13:32 Comments (1)  

   messageicon Crickets are really loud for something that gets eaten by everything
←Rate | 09-20-2018 12:42 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Chicken Pot Pie: my 3 favorite things.
←Rate | 09-20-2018 11:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Tic Toc Tic Toc 853 days to go.
←Rate | 09-20-2018 07:38 Comments (7)  

   messageicon Place an order with an energy saving catalogue co. for an economy efficient hair dryer. What I received was a bath towel.
←Rate | 09-20-2018 03:53 by Haha Comments (0)  

   messageicon Happy hour: Every hour you're home alone without the wife.
←Rate | 09-20-2018 03:15 by Haha Comments (0)  

   messageicon Safe sex: Is having sex when your wife is out of town.
←Rate | 09-20-2018 03:10 by Haha Comments (0)  

   messageicon Altzheimer's Centre prepares for a party to remember!
←Rate | 09-20-2018 02:45 by Truman Comments (0)  

   messageicon The only good thing about inflation. It allows you to live in a more expensive neighborhood without having to move.
←Rate | 09-20-2018 02:14 by Haha Comments (0)  

   messageicon There's an easy way to convert your sofa into a sofabed...... Forget the wife's birthday.
←Rate | 09-20-2018 02:09 by Haha Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Flammable" and "inflammable" mean the same thing. Boy did I learn that one the hard way.
←Rate | 09-19-2018 15:17 Comments (1)  

   messageicon Are we rich yet? Do we have enough to buy that deluxe apartment in the sky? Have we finally got a piece of that pie?
←Rate | 09-19-2018 11:59 Comments (12)  


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