Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Facebook and Twitter are no different than commun┬íst countries who control the media. Although they aren't government entities, they still have far reaching influence due to their sizable presence.
←Rate | 10-24-2020 05:36 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon I bought a watch at a secondhand store and it's real slow. I played cards with my buddies later that evening and the second hand lost a second every second hand.
←Rate | 10-23-2020 22:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm beginning to believe whoever said "Hindsight is 2020" was sending a message to the future we all misunderstood.
←Rate | 10-23-2020 21:32 by moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's important to look closely at all the campaign signs. Last election I voted for a real estate agent.
←Rate | 10-23-2020 18:00 Comments (0)  

   messageicon In our history we use to have an honest Abe, In our modern times we have dishonest Abe. :)
←Rate | 10-23-2020 16:04 by GGC Comments (0)  

   messageicon I would have a 3some with Nancy Pelosi and Dianne Feinstein twice in one week if Biden was arrested tonight during the debate.
←Rate | 10-23-2020 11:22 by Ohshit_itsdoodle Comments (0)  

   messageicon How do you make a beautiful healthcare?
←Rate | 10-23-2020 10:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Friday
←Rate | 10-23-2020 09:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Donald Trump is going to be re-elected.
←Rate | 10-23-2020 00:45 by AnonymousSource Comments (0)  

   messageicon Bidencare: They house you in a basement, feed you aspirin and slices of government cheese.
←Rate | 10-22-2020 22:56 by IARU Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'd like to personally address Facebook in telling them the citizens of the U.S. know how to vote and to kindly stop with those imbecilic notices ... okay fine, other then the 2016 election they know how to vote.
←Rate | 10-22-2020 18:47 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I was kidnapped by a gang of Mimes earlier!! They did unspeakable things to me...!
←Rate | 10-22-2020 18:38 by Gabe Comments (0)  

   messageicon Life is like a helicopter... I don't know how to operate a helicopter.
←Rate | 10-22-2020 18:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hope people do realize that TDS stands for "Total Devotion Syndrome." It's the term all doctors are using.
←Rate | 10-22-2020 14:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon 's computer had kilig before him
←Rate | 10-22-2020 13:04 Comments (0)  

   messageicon What's Orange and of little use shortly after Halloween ?
←Rate | 10-22-2020 12:11 Comments (0)  

   messageicon What is the difference between COVID and TDS? They will eventually find a cure for COVID.
←Rate | 10-22-2020 10:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I know I have to watch Borat 2 to get the full story on the Rudy situation. But until the movie comes out, I'm gonna assume Rudy is guilty because it pisses people off.
←Rate | 10-22-2020 08:23 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm getting through the elections without a headache by using a wonderful Facebook feature you can find under settings then scrolling down to where it says log out.
←Rate | 10-21-2020 21:43 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Well, the Pope says it's okay for h0m0s and lezbos to hook up. What's next? Priests cornholing altar boys? Scratch that. Already been done.
←Rate | 10-21-2020 21:18 by Not-Easily-Offended Comments (0)  


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