Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Facebook and Twitter are no different than commun¡st countries who control the media. Although they aren't government entities, they still have far reaching influence due to their sizable presence.

   I bought a watch at a secondhand store and it's real slow. I played cards with my buddies later that evening and the second hand lost a second every second hand.

   I'm beginning to believe whoever said "Hindsight is 2020" was sending a message to the future we all misunderstood.

   It's important to look closely at all the campaign signs. Last election I voted for a real estate agent.

   In our history we use to have an honest Abe, In our modern times we have dishonest Abe. :)

   I would have a 3some with Nancy Pelosi and Dianne Feinstein twice in one week if Biden was arrested tonight during the debate.

   How do you make a beautiful healthcare?

   Friday

   Donald Trump is going to be re-elected.

   Bidencare: They house you in a basement, feed you aspirin and slices of government cheese.

   I'd like to personally address Facebook in telling them the citizens of the U.S. know how to vote and to kindly stop with those imbecilic notices ... okay fine, other then the 2016 election they know how to vote.

   I was kidnapped by a gang of Mimes earlier!! They did unspeakable things to me...!

   Life is like a helicopter... I don't know how to operate a helicopter.

   I hope people do realize that TDS stands for "Total Devotion Syndrome." It's the term all doctors are using.

   's computer had kilig before him

   What's Orange and of little use shortly after Halloween ?

   What is the difference between COVID and TDS? They will eventually find a cure for COVID.

   I know I have to watch Borat 2 to get the full story on the Rudy situation. But until the movie comes out, I'm gonna assume Rudy is guilty because it pisses people off.

   I'm getting through the elections without a headache by using a wonderful Facebook feature you can find under settings then scrolling down to where it says log out.

   Well, the Pope says it's okay for h0m0s and lezbos to hook up. What's next? Priests cornholing altar boys? Scratch that. Already been done.