Funny Status Messages | Status Message Generator | Recent Comments | Chuck Norris Sayings

Funny Status Messages for Facebook

Status message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
Oldest | Recent | Rating
Filter On | Filter Off
Search Messages:
«Previous
1
Page: 1 of 4952

X says L.A. unions push for 15 dollar an hour minimum wage. Now that it's here, L.A. unions ask the city to exclude union companies from 15 dollar minimum wage... Because the union cares about its workers!!!
←Rate | 05-28-2015 11:11 Comments (0)


X says I call my car the "pu$$y wagon" because that's where I go to cry
←Rate | 05-28-2015 09:29 Comments (0)


X says "Spring break" ~ Russian mattress repairman.
←Rate | 05-28-2015 09:29 Comments (0)


X says The Los Angeles City Council has approved an increase in the minimum wage to 15 dollars an hour. In a related story, all L.A. McDonald’s are replacing their Dollar Menu with a TEN-Dollar Menu.
←Rate | 05-28-2015 07:28 Comments (0)




X says George Washington and other American revolutionaries would have been called terrorist and insurgents today. Think about that.
←Rate | 05-28-2015 06:51 by Dude Comments (0)


X says 2015....first there's a football scandal then theres a futbol scandal
←Rate | 05-28-2015 02:56 Comments (0)


X says 2105....first there's a football scandal then theres a futbol scandal
←Rate | 05-28-2015 02:55 by Eddy Comments (0)


X All females have 50 screenshoted quotes ready for when the sh*t goes down..
←Rate | 05-27-2015 19:44 by Wolf Comments (0)


X says Republican presidential nominees are now up to 30 people waiting for their chance to congratulate Hillary on winning and conceding
←Rate | 05-27-2015 17:17 Comments (0)


X says Someone who unplugs your phone at 3% to charge theirs at 97% is capable of killing you.
←Rate | 05-27-2015 16:02 by NHIF Comments (0)


X Immigration puns are funny but they cross the line.
←Rate | 05-27-2015 13:28 by lkl627 Comments (0)


X says With all the social injustice and government misconduct all over the world at a fever pitch, lets go ahead and focus on deflated footballs and soccer corruption instead.
←Rate | 05-27-2015 11:41 by Dude Comments (0)


X says My wife found lipstick in my pocket. I straight up told her I'm cheating. There no way I'm telling her I'm selling Avon.
←Rate | 05-27-2015 11:02 Comments (0)


X says FIFA,Finally I Feen Arrested
←Rate | 05-27-2015 09:49 Comments (1)


X says Do you really think that people ask George Foreman all the time what to do with their idea for a new invention?
←Rate | 05-27-2015 07:44 Comments (0)


X "What about this? What about this? And this?"--me, taunting museum curator MC Hammer.
←Rate | 05-26-2015 23:06 by snotty Comments (0)


X says Best Relationship: Talk like best-friends, play like children, argue like husband and wife, protect each other like brother and sister.
←Rate | 05-26-2015 22:21 by BEGO Comments (0)


X says My stupid camera won't stop ringing.
←Rate | 05-26-2015 21:17 Comments (0)


X They have a machine that sees your bones thru your skin. They have a machine that makes your heart beat when it own't. So, why does the Doctor still stick his finger up your butt and wiggle it around to feel your prostate??
←Rate | 05-26-2015 21:09 Comments (3)


X They have a machine that sees your bones thru your skin. They have a machine that makes your heart beat when it own't. So, why does the Doctor still stick his finger up your butt and wiggle it around to feel your prostate??
←Rate | 05-26-2015 21:09 Comments (0)

«Previous
1

Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left