Funny Status Messages | Status Message Generator | Recent Comments | Chuck Norris Sayings

Funny Status Messages for Facebook

Status message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
Oldest | Recent | Rating
Filter On | Filter Off
Search Messages:
Page: 1 of 4561

X "If this is Good Friday, I'd hate to se a Bad one!" ...... Jesus
←Rate | 04-17-2014 19:02 Comments (0)

X Thanks for the free weekend offer E-Harmony but my wife said I can't use it.
←Rate | 04-17-2014 17:53 Comments (0)

X says I expect all atheists to be at work bright and early tomorrow...
←Rate | 04-17-2014 17:52 Comments (0)

X Hope you have a better Good Friday than Jesus did!
←Rate | 04-17-2014 15:38 Comments (0)

X says Pain wouldn't be so bad if it didn't hurt so much.
←Rate | 04-17-2014 15:12 Comments (0)

X says Gentlemen playing leapfrog are kindly requested to complete their leaps. - sign in a g@y nudi$t colony.
←Rate | 04-17-2014 12:13 Comments (0)

X says My neighbor has a toilet marked "FREE" on his front lawn. Either offering a free used potty or he's part of the Toilet Liberation Army.
←Rate | 04-17-2014 10:05 by andrew jackson Comments (0)

X says Hey Gotham City criminals, why isn’t the first thing on your to-do list “Unplug the Bat Signal”?
←Rate | 04-17-2014 09:58 by Huck Comments (0)

X says I'm really tired but it's OK. There's a nap for that.
←Rate | 04-17-2014 09:57 Comments (0)

X says If you've ever put away a kitchen knife and not imagined the day you'll dramatically fight a burglar with it, congrats, I guess you're the adult.
←Rate | 04-17-2014 09:44 by flinnie Comments (0)

X says Forgetting to switch off your alarm on a day when you’re not meant to go anywhere is an invention of lucifer himself.
←Rate | 04-17-2014 09:07 Comments (0)

X says just seen someone write “10Q” to mean “thank you“ and I wouldn’t even be mad if there was another Noah like flood in the next few minutes.
←Rate | 04-17-2014 09:01 Comments (0)

X says If no one is there to touch you, are you really there?
←Rate | 04-17-2014 08:55 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)

X says I'm definitely not trying to insult your intelligence, you would have to possess some first.
←Rate | 04-17-2014 08:50 Comments (0)

X says The only thing my girlfriend blows is everything out of proportion.
←Rate | 04-17-2014 08:50 by Czovczov Comments (0)

X says I'm not shy. I was just trying to not offend you. But if you insist...
←Rate | 04-17-2014 08:46 by Baddie Comments (0)

X says Miley Cyrus I'll with allergic reaction:-CNN.. CNN, dude.. who cares about her?
←Rate | 04-17-2014 08:29 Comments (0)

X says I live for this sh*t - People that don't understand biology
←Rate | 04-17-2014 08:24 Comments (0)

X says Just glad Jesus died on a Friday Good Monday just doesn't 'roll' off the tongue as well
←Rate | 04-17-2014 08:21 Comments (0)

X says My wife has decided to get a nose job. Unfortunately, the rest of her hasn't got a job to pay for it.
←Rate | 04-17-2014 08:20 Comments (0)


Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Status Message:

... characters left