Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   When Trump said he wanted to 'Drain the swamp' I think he meant his swamp.

   : Mistake (noun) What a trump supporter made by voting for him.

   Of course donald handled the past situations with kid gloves. Kid gloves are the only gloves that fit his hands.

   : If a dog loses their tail, where do they get another one? At a retail store.

   Het TROLLMASTER, do you know what's my favorite song? It's Cop Killer by Ice-T. You should listen to it. Awesome song.

   Conswrvatives says it's alright to hurt people's feelings because it's good for them? Tell that to Ted Bundy's parents.

   .Don't mean to brag but I saw the Solar Eclipse today. Went outside, closed my eyes & BAM! Solar Eclipse.....

   Just like Master Chef, Bannon turned in his hood before leaving.

   Do not use the one $1.00, $20 or $50 or $100 bills! Slave owners are depicted on them! Help stop this hideous display of racism… Send those bills to me and I will see that they are handled properly... message me for my address,

   Okay people, I'll ask again. Have you people had enough or are you thirsty for more? If you had enough, then accept my deal and learn to abide by the terms!!!!

   We need more statues of naked women

   Are we also going to conclude that the solar eclispe is a 1iberal scam, since we like to blame them for everything?

   Having big tits because you're fat is like having a fast car because its falling pff a cliff.

   I don't think this solar eclipse thing is going to happen. I think they just want us to put on these special glasses so we don't see the meteor coming...

   DEAR GOD, If you want Hillary to be arrested, give us a sign... Like, blot out the sun, anytime in the next five days. Thanks.

   My Olympic condoms have arrived - I wanted to wear a gold one, but the wife said "wear the silver one and come second for a change".

   If only the made people do a DNA test prior to receiving their membership into the KKK

   everyone is making a big deal about seeing an eclipse...haven't they sat down in a movie theater before?

   : trump the me, me, me, it must always be all about me and only me president.

   I have a nutache