Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon feeling gay rn
←Rate | 07-23-2019 21:19 by HarrietTubgirl Comments (0)  


   messageicon “I am the most transparent prezident of all time, and to prove it, I am launching another law suit to make sure all my personal information stays private.”
←Rate | 07-23-2019 17:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wednesday, 8AM, can't come soon enough! I'm like a kid waiting for Christmas.
←Rate | 07-23-2019 16:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's raining it's pouring and facebook is boring.
←Rate | 07-23-2019 16:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Time to celebrate. Kingston, Jamaica has a new Prime Minister. Everybody smoke em de erb!
←Rate | 07-23-2019 12:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Choking
←Rate | 07-23-2019 10:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am scared to death that when they storm area 51 they may find thousands of aliens… There is a group in Congress who would want to give them free healthcare...
←Rate | 07-23-2019 08:31 by PDavis Comments (0)  


   messageicon If catholic priests stormed Area 51, it would be predators vs aliens.
←Rate | 07-23-2019 07:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon He was rich, so we make sex.
←Rate | 07-22-2019 21:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Lion King is the best way that people from Michigan can see a group of Lions come together and win
←Rate | 07-22-2019 15:42 by Remy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shout out to the guy in the Beamer who gave me the finger for honking and waving at him. Your cell phone is on the roof of your car!
←Rate | 07-22-2019 12:08 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon The secret to contentment: my unmatched socks don't care into what dimension their partners were sent by the dryer. They just wish them well.
←Rate | 07-22-2019 09:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bernie Sanders is finally going to pay his staff the $15 minimum wage he advocates for. But he's going to reduce their hours. He has proven the point that increasing the minimum wage to $15 will cost people hours and jobs.
←Rate | 07-22-2019 07:17 by glimmertriplet Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm happy to say that my life is now plastic free! except for a few Tupperware containers and my Facebook account.
←Rate | 07-21-2019 16:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Insanity runs in my family..it practically gallops.
←Rate | 07-21-2019 03:56 by Eideeodee Comments (1)  


   messageicon It’s very hot in most of the country. It’s like we’re trapped in the “Jersey Shore” hot tub and can’t escape.
←Rate | 07-20-2019 07:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Area 51 is where they keep the working McDonalds iced cream machine.
←Rate | 07-19-2019 18:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Took a step outside. Whew! Hotter than a Salma Hayek lap dance. I'm going back indoors.
←Rate | 07-19-2019 12:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't need an Old Age app. I just need a mirror.
←Rate | 07-19-2019 10:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No need for me to storm Area 51... I've been to Walmart...
←Rate | 07-19-2019 10:06 by Gabe Comments (0)  



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