Funny Status Messages for FacebookStatus message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
X A man was arrested in England for robbing a store not with a gun; but holding a picture of a gun. God it takes courage to be that stupid.
X I wonder if Dr. Huxtable wrote his own prescriptions for roofies?
X If you're out of high school and making min wage, you're doing it wrong.
X says Show me on this Fat Albert doll exactly where Bill Cosby touched you
X says “You wore that before” yea because it’s my shirt and I have a washing machine!
X says What's worse to have stuck in your head; a knife or All About That Bass?
X These days HD is so good, when you watch an NFL game you can see the murder evidence.
X Hey Illegals, your Americans now. Learn the fukin language.
X says I’d rather wear Rosie O’Donnell’s dirty underwear as a ski mask than turn Facebook chat on.
X says If you cry loudly enough at a Walmart everyone will just assume you work there.
X says I can't decide if I should lay off the booze or just lay in it.
X says P0rn is so unrealistic. There is no way in hell a guy with a ponytail would own a house that nice.
X says I hope the next iPhone has a stronger Vibrator.
X Since it's throwback Thursday, Ima throwback some booze!
X says They said to dress for the job I want; not the one I have. So now I'm sitting in a disciplinary meeting wearing my Batman costume.
X See, it's not only Canada that gets snow. Got that Florida, Texas, California........
X Report: Buffalo is running out of beer...guys we are basically district 12 from the hunger games...the end is ne
X says I took my sister to a NASCAR rase and all I got was this lousy son/nephew.
X says The Theatre Alliance of Buffalo is holding auditions for Frozen tonight from 6 to 9
X is Never mind shoveling out Ralph Wilson Stadium, change the rules to allow a defensive line of snowmen. That ought to liven things up.