Funny Status Messages | Status Message Generator | Recent Comments | Chuck Norris Sayings

Funny Status Messages for Facebook

Status message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
Oldest | Recent | Rating
Filter On | Filter Off
Search Messages:
Page: 1 of 4761

X says I'm going to as many Halloween parties as I can. I'll be in the invisible man. You'll just have to imagine I'm there. . .
←Rate | 10-30-2014 21:16 by JAB Comments (0)

X says Hey dude... Don't mess with me or I will take my bra off and you will see I have bigger balls than you do!!
←Rate | 10-30-2014 21:15 by Dani Comments (0)

X When an old man dies a library burns to the ground
←Rate | 10-30-2014 20:24 by smeebert Comments (0)

X says Prison football teams seam to have a difficult time finding a person qualified to play tight end.
←Rate | 10-30-2014 20:17 Comments (0)

X nomo funnie
←Rate | 10-30-2014 18:15 Comments (0)

X says Full Of Life All Day, Half An Hour Before Work, BOOM! Knackared....
←Rate | 10-30-2014 18:09 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)

X If you're panicking about ebola going airborne , just remember that this means you believe in evolution.
←Rate | 10-30-2014 17:22 Comments (0)

X I bet the guy working at the laundromat never has to break a hundred.
←Rate | 10-30-2014 15:30 Comments (0)

X says I'm just looking for a reason not to drink
←Rate | 10-30-2014 15:22 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)

X says please strip Blackmama of noble peace prize. He is costed the highest no of innocent livez
←Rate | 10-30-2014 13:35 by striaght Comments (0)

X says If you are a medical professional it is your duty not to spread political fear of a disease.
←Rate | 10-30-2014 12:47 by Klh850 Comments (0)

X CEO of Apple Tim Cook annouces he's gay... Awaiting Samsung press conference announcing that they're waayyyyy more gay
←Rate | 10-30-2014 12:21 by @GETSQUAREDUP Comments (0)

X Apple CEO, Tim Cook is so proud to be gay, he waited 53 years to come out.
←Rate | 10-30-2014 12:10 Comments (0)

X says I LOVE HALLOWEEN!!! All these slutty outfits have me scared stiff
←Rate | 10-30-2014 10:24 Comments (0)

X says I Love Halloween!!! All these slutty costumes have me scared stiff
←Rate | 10-30-2014 09:56 Comments (0)

X says When I see ad's on Tv with smiling happy housewives using a new cleaning product ,the only thing I want to go out and buy are the Meds they must be on.
←Rate | 10-30-2014 09:53 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)

X says Apple CEO just came out today. I guess this explains why iPhone 6 bends.
←Rate | 10-30-2014 08:32 by Czovczov Comments (0)

X says I always like to keep a nice photo of myself for my Facebook profile pic because that is the picture that will be splashed all over the news when I finally go off the deep end.
←Rate | 10-30-2014 08:05 Comments (0)

X says The best time and place to hide a body is in your front yard during Halloween. That way, people will think it's just a decoration.
←Rate | 10-30-2014 08:00 Comments (0)

X says When they report your photo to Facebook, and Facebook tells them your photo does not violates any rules. ;)
←Rate | 10-30-2014 02:56 Comments (0)


Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Status Message:

... characters left