Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   According to trump, the water from the hurricane is wet.

   Trump signs VA bill to help VETS. MAGA!!!!

   How can you fill up a room with people without putting a single person in it? .......

   ....... Fill the room with married people.

   Why did the black cross the road? To rob the house on the other side.

   This Monday is brought to you by the word "f*ck" and the letter u.

   How come no one knew who Monica or Colin was until they got on their knees.

   Are you weirdos still mad at shoes?

   This is just sad. Can you people be man enough to admit you hate CNN because they're anti-Trump?

   Crickets are really loud for something that gets eaten by everything

   Chicken Pot Pie: my 3 favorite things.

   Tic Toc Tic Toc 853 days to go.

   Place an order with an energy saving catalogue co. for an economy efficient hair dryer. What I received was a bath towel.

   Happy hour: Every hour you're home alone without the wife.

   Safe sex: Is having sex when your wife is out of town.

   Altzheimer's Centre prepares for a party to remember!

   The only good thing about inflation. It allows you to live in a more expensive neighborhood without having to move.

   There's an easy way to convert your sofa into a sofabed...... Forget the wife's birthday.

   "Flammable" and "inflammable" mean the same thing. Boy did I learn that one the hard way.

   Are we rich yet? Do we have enough to buy that deluxe apartment in the sky? Have we finally got a piece of that pie?