Funny Status Messages for Facebook

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X "If this is Good Friday, I'd hate to se a Bad one!" ...... Jesus

X Thanks for the free weekend offer E-Harmony but my wife said I can't use it.

X says I expect all atheists to be at work bright and early tomorrow...

X Hope you have a better Good Friday than Jesus did!

X says Pain wouldn't be so bad if it didn't hurt so much.

X says Gentlemen playing leapfrog are kindly requested to complete their leaps. - sign in a g@y nudi$t colony.

X says My neighbor has a toilet marked "FREE" on his front lawn. Either offering a free used potty or he's part of the Toilet Liberation Army.

X says Hey Gotham City criminals, why isn’t the first thing on your to-do list “Unplug the Bat Signal”?

X says I'm really tired but it's OK. There's a nap for that.

X says If you've ever put away a kitchen knife and not imagined the day you'll dramatically fight a burglar with it, congrats, I guess you're the adult.

X says Forgetting to switch off your alarm on a day when you’re not meant to go anywhere is an invention of lucifer himself.

X says just seen someone write “10Q” to mean “thank you“ and I wouldn’t even be mad if there was another Noah like flood in the next few minutes.

X says If no one is there to touch you, are you really there?

X says I'm definitely not trying to insult your intelligence, you would have to possess some first.

X says The only thing my girlfriend blows is everything out of proportion.

X says I'm not shy. I was just trying to not offend you. But if you insist...

X says Miley Cyrus I'll with allergic reaction:-CNN.. CNN, dude.. who cares about her?

X says I live for this sh*t - People that don't understand biology

X says Just glad Jesus died on a Friday Good Monday just doesn't 'roll' off the tongue as well

X says My wife has decided to get a nose job. Unfortunately, the rest of her hasn't got a job to pay for it.