Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   While you're cheering for your favorite NFL team in a publicly funded stadium, how about publicly funding some disadvantaged child's school lunch?

   Whatever you got to do today, do it with the confidence of a 4yr old in a Batman cape.

   I need to stop talking to myself. I'm a bad influence.

   Procrastination really is a good thing. You always have something to do tomorrow, plus you have nothing to do today.

   Did our government only admit to UFO's because we're going to start sending their planets money for aid?

   If you see me talking to myself, don't judge us. We're trying to talk ourselves out of doing something stupid.

   Did my taxes and discovered I still owe Ukraine $4000.

   I am positive that there isn't life on any other planets ! If there was Trudeau would have sent them money

   I always thought it was "Blew by you"

   I ate a kid's meal at McDonald's today. His parents weren't too happy about it.